There seems to be an almost mystical dichotomy between the things we actually expect to get from others and what, in reality, they are able to give us; and the gap between the two is a source, in us, of impatience, intolerance, unkindness, and misunderstanding. Of course, it goes both ways.
According to spiritual writer, Fr. Henri Nouwen, one human being cannot unconditionally love another, cannot fully understand another, cannot offer consistent affection, and cannot enter in to the deepest core of another’s being. It’s just impossible! That’s because we are human. But we tend to forget that and always expect more from others than they can give. We become disillusioned when we realize this. It may cause us to resent certain things about others. But the fact is. It’s always going to be like that because I am me and another person is who he/she is.
In certain situations (especially when I feel treated unjustly or unfairly) I affirm the existence of this gap and become resentful because my expectations to be treated by others as I would treat them is not met. Whenever words of promise or guarantee are exchanged my expectation is that they be met as a matter of honor and integrity. I think of myself as one who lives by this and I expect it of others. Unfortunately I have a strong tendency to go ballistic when others ignore this.
We all want others to think and feel as we do, but our natures are flawed and each of us is unique in our ways. This gap plays out even further in my relationship with You. With others I am prone to perceive the creation of this gap as their fault, but with You I know it is my fault. The fact that I cannot help it is frustrating. Accepting the gap, trying to diminish it, and going on from there is the only option. As a human You experienced this Yourself. Our race is marked with the remnants of Babel – and it is a life’s work learning to grow from it.