God is playing a vision into my mind. This vision is like a movie that is happening in this particular season of my life. It is like God is pressing the repeat button and asking me to look into my life in His sight to remind me. God is opening His heart and his vision of my life with overflowing love. What I find so unique about this vision, because the vision does not all seem good at times, it is filled with peace and joy and it surrounds me.
In this movie, I see myself as God’s little girl, just as I looked when I was younger. I am running,
I can’t even express the feeling I get when I see it played in my head. I don’t get discouragd when God repeats the movie over and over. I find joy because I am placed safely in His arms where I belong at the end. His arms are where I was first found after my darkest moments. His arms are my wings to fly, like an eagle who is free to soar without the hindrance to be bound to anything or anyone else. The eagle is content and free and has the personality of a strong and mighty warrior. Safe in His arms is where I find strength. God’s arms is where I find my refuge. Everything my heart cries out for is God and God alone. laughing and smiling and without a care in the world. I’m crawling to the water now, never even realizing what has happened and touching the water with my hands. I felt overjoyed and wanted to experience what it was, so I decided to place my body in the water. I start swimming but it is getting deeper and deeper. I am still just smiling like nothing is different than before, just having fun and loving where I am because I thought I was ok. In the midst of the situation I was not heading in a safe direction, I was heading to a deeper area where I would drown. I looked down and notice that I can’t touch anymore but I keep swimming. Suddenly, God calls out “my daughter, why do you keep swimming deeper and deeper without recognizing what you are doing to yourself? You're drifting away from me”. After hearing that voice, I looked up and he revealed what I was hiding in my heart, even though I didn’t see it myself. It was pride and self-righteousness and it hit me hard. After that, I could feel it and recognize the sin. I started crying and reaching out for Him, finally looking down and noticing that I was about to sink deeper. All I wanted at that moment was Jesus. I reached my arms up in complete surrender and faith, knowing He would pick me up safely in His arms and never let me go. When He picked me up, I felt all my feelings of the trials, the pain, the suffering, even the guilt of being wrong, in my body, but at the same time I couldn’t dwell on it. All I could focus on that moment was Jesus Himself and how He was looking at me adoringly. I looked at Jesus with tear-filled eyes, longing for His love and approval, even though I messed up in the worst possible way. He looked down at me with the most adoring look and His presence was 100% pure with no blemishes and it was so precious, like we were in His sight. I couldn’t see His whole face in my movie but I could “feel” it by the anointing and His eyes, soothing and innocent, as He smiled at me and hugged me tightly close to Him, like He couldn’t hold me tight enough. He said “I love you so much, my daughter, my little girl, my princess”. I still think now how I not of even grasp the moment but I know I will be able to play the actress in my movie again, When I am placed in heaven I want to be able to press the repeat button with the scene “ Wrapped in His arms securely tight. We never get to the point where we are fully mature in Christ because our level of love for God can always grow stronger step by step, and we just have to trust that He is with us each step of the way. He picks us up so it’s His footprints in the sand, walking with me away from the deep, dangerous waters; to His overflowing rivers of life, where I can swim and go as deep as I want. From this point on from when I got that picture, all I wanted was more of that feeling. The feeling to feel secure but not the security in myself, the security to know who I am in Christ. That is all I have been wanting this past year. Yes, I have my faults and I mess up and I even find myself having days of feeling complacent, even though I hate feeling that way, but that is all part of the race. The race comes with a challenge, but if you want to win, you have to run. You have to complete all the obstacles that come with it or it wouldn’t be much of a challenge. As I grow, God will never be second in my life because every day that movie runs in my mind it changes my heart. I can’t imagine my life without Him and I can’t imagine ever being apart from Him. Every time I hear His name, tears come to my eyes, but not always a sad cry, just a loving cry for Him. I cried with a pain because I wanted to love Jesus more than anything in life, but I just felt that I wasn’t doing that and I found myself trying instead of just loving God. But now I have had a few people tell me I am different already and I accept that with all my heart. I understand now that I can’t get the love from people like I do Jesus. I have tried to tell myself that a million times, that I can get love from people and have that feeling because I can see them and feel them and it’s a comforting feeling. The love of Jesus is so much more powerful and it’s something that will never be taken away. People come and go, but Jesus stays the same forever and ever. People can die for me, but I don’t think anyone would have went through what Jesus went did for me on the cross and the persecuting. The disciples proved that in the bible. Through my journey with this vision that God is sharing with me, I always try to understand it fully but some things God never is attended for us to understand with that kind of knowledge. Colossians 1:9 “We ask God to give you complete knowledge of His will and give you spiritual wisdom and understanding”. My knowledge and understanding that God was revealing is “Just love Me for Me, your Heavenly Father.” That is my understanding and that’s all I need. Maybe that is why God gave this to me. I love the scripture col. 2: 2-3 because it talks about being knitted together by strong ties that cannot be broken apart and that God’s mysterious plans and in Him we will find all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I just soak in the satisfaction of being able to press play of “God’s Little Girl” wrapped in His arms securely tight”. Patience and endurance is what it takes. We won’t always grow when we want to grow. Growth takes time and small breakthroughs are the first start. Don’t settle for small breakthroughs, go for huge breakthroughs, but start at small breakthroughs, which will turn into freedom. I am God’s little daughter, His daughter that has inherited His eternal love and His eternal life. Colossians 1:11-14 “We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy, * Always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to his people, who live in the light. For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom* and forgave our sins.”