One of the factors that enfeebles our ability to love is our worrying about the results of our love. Such worry is a corruption of love and works against it. It is a self-imposed condition. To worry about the effects or results of one’s love reflects a corrupting sense of self that detracts from the act of love by imposing a concern for more than the object: Where is my love going? or, What is it doing? These should not be interior reservations. Even worse is: What will it get me? or, What will result from it? The perfection of love eliminates all such questions.
The love with which I seek to love You is the same as the love with which I should be seeking to love others. But purifying how we love is not easy and takes constant effort. It’s not easy because we are prone to somehow inserting our “self” into the act of love – not the “giving-self” but the “receiving-self” – the self that asks the above questions.
For example, many times I have used the analogy of my love for You being like my love for my wife. If I look closely at my love for my wife, it is far from perfect. There are many times when I do “loving things” for selfish motives. Case in point: I might do something for her because she would be displeased if I didn’t, and that would make my life uncomfortable. Or, without being asked I might do her work for her in hopes that she’ll love me more – like a child buttering up his parents. I become more concerned with the results than with simply loving. This is the way I treat You sometimes too – doing things in certain ways for You because I think it will put me in an advantageous position with You. But You love me with the love with which I should love You: no conditions, no expectations, no worries about results – just pure, simple, love.
When I think about it, I do not really want to be loved for what I can do for others but rather because I am a being that exists as a reflection of Your love. That’s why all of us are loveable!