It has been quite some time since I posted anything at all. I looked into the bible about dignity.
Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.
I lack something. I must. What it is? I do not know. Great wife and daughter, great life. Someone once said character is lacked when the mind is divided. I gave some pondering to that. A man and his Character! Sounds so...kind of like...I don't know. Men and women both have character I suppose. The mistake of a man is a black mark on his character. The mistake of a woman is the result of practice to get what she wants. In the end both lose a great deal more than they wanted and more often than not, there becomes a vacancy of dignity. I have been told I've no dignity. I have been told I have character. I am not quite certain of either or their meanings in context with the universe. I am more apt to believe we carry an uncertain amount of something we cannot see from a visual point, with us ......at all times. Character, dignity, stress, anxiety, depression...the list can go on. All things we cannot see or touch...yet we feel some of these things do we not? I know that I do. Is it not dignified to have a panic attack in public? That was where I heard that term long before I had a great wife and daughter. I was told in 2002 that I lacked dignity because I fell apart in a mall. I was walking in and boom it hit me. I tried to make my way to the water fountain to take my newly prescribed Xanax. I stumbled and fell. Pills spilled out next to me. A man looked down at me and said have some dignity. Had I not been in the condition I was, I would have taken the extra 15 seconds and broke several of his bones. Instead there I was. Shaking, fumbling about, scared, the overall volume of the mall seemed to be rising at a rapid pace. It was awful. As I stood back up I promised never to be ashamed of who I had become. Dignity.