There is a thorn that nettles me about embracing the connection between trust and love. Yet if we have a desire to be open to You, even if we don’t know how to go about it, I think You will take it as a “yes” and transform us. Of course I’m not talking about the fact that there is a connection between trust and love; what I’m talking about is being nettled by the realization that all too often I don’t make that connection.
It is notable that loving is easier the more inhibitions about loving we are able to drop. At their roots these inhibitions deal with fear and mistrust, and, of course, fear and mistrust spring from a concern for one’s self. So, once again I’m confronted with “self” as a culprit from which to distance myself to gain any ground in perfecting love. I don’t know if I make any progress here. My hope is that You see my desire to do so and take it as a “yes.” Somehow I’ve got to figure out how an attitude of completely trusting in You to act in me despite my “self” isn’t a rationalized cop out for doing nothing.
To trust somebody else means a lot more than just saying, “I trust you.” Those three words convey next to nothing if some interior act of fearless acceptance and letting-go does not take place. The difficulty is in accomplishing this. For example, is it not telling that the purest trust we ever experience is that trust we place in our parents as children? This blind, childlike abandonment of self, however, grows into mistrust as we advance into our teens. No wonder You so extolled the simplicity of childlike love. How do we ever recapture that?
Sometimes I look at our dog as an analog of the simplistic trust and dependency we should have. Yet, even in the lower animals fear and mistrust are often manifested. It helps a little just to be able to see and recognize the connection between trust and love even as we struggle to grasp it. Maybe in such recognition we are occasionally able to embrace snatches of pure love.