There is a certain analogous similarity in the apostles and us regarding the stages of spiritual growth and acceptance. In the first stage those ordinary and not necessarily religious men from various walks of life answered a call from You. We will never know how many others You called who did not respond. But these 12 men each gave up something because of a powerful attraction to follow You and learn more.
Seeking You in our own lives often means putting aside what we are doing and following a different path. Our spiritual journey doesn’t really begin until we accept this calling. The apostles apparently continued their occupations but more and more time was devoted to You because they were more and more willing to be drawn to You.
The second stage was the quantum leap after Your passion. In this phase they were called upon to commit themselves with great faith in ways they never imagined. Here there were a lot of puzzling questions and a precarious balancing on the edge between doubt and embrace. The comfort that had grown out of three years of being with You as passive receptors and witnesses was erased by a single event fraught with disturbing irony and grief.
Thus it is with us. As we grow spiritually more comfortable with You our susceptibility to fear and doubt jumps out at us at those times when You seem not to be there for us. But we summon our faith and go on in the knowledge that You still draw us if we are open to You. The confusion, wavering, and doubt of this period is erased by the Pentecost Event.
You can and will intervene directly in our spiritual lives in ways we do not comprehend. You touch us and move us as You will just as You did with the apostles on that first Pentecost. At this stage, having gone through the other two, we embrace You wholly.