I do not think it is word play to say the activity of me seeking You IS the activity of You seeking me. Once my will says, “yes” to You, You are able to act in me. The first step, as with Your Mother, Mary, is saying “yes.” You take over from there. Now it does happen that we slip in a “no” here and there even after we have said “yes.” This is where we block You. So there is a constant opening and closing of the door. Of course it is up to us to keep it open, and we work on this; but once we say “yes” (that is, when the door is open to You) it is then no longer a seeking based on personal initiative. Our seeking of You becomes Your seeking of us. And You do this where we’re at.
It’s important for us to consider Your words in John 15:16, “...you have not chosen me, I have chosen you.” But we can even block that if we don’t allow ourselves to be chosen, to be graced, to be sought. One of the great, but slowly learned, lessons of a spiritual life is the importance of not allowing one’s self to become an obstruction to You. We are so strongly oriented toward actively doing things to pursue You that these activities can actually prevent You from enteringinto our lives. There is a plus side and a minus side to praying, meditating, helping others, reading, giving alms, going to church, even writing these letters. The plus side is that these activities help dispose us to opening the door and saying “yes” to You. The minus side is that they can become exercises in self-righteousness and idolatry forever barring the door while we, at the same time, think it’s open.
Allowing You to seek us often involves risk and discomfort, two parts of the deal we instinctively try to avoid. If the action of You seeking us is truly the action of us seeking You then it is incumbent upon us to actively keep all channels, all doors, open at all times and not surreptitiously try to counter You.