In regards to getting some kind of handle on where we’re at in our own spiritual life, I was stopped short by a passage from a little book of meditations I’m reading. The passage was something like, ‘Am I living my life in a way that will have made it worth saving?’ Getting at an answer to this is emphatically enhanced by looking at and thinking about the image of Your body on the cross. In one sense, maybe I’m overly concerned about knowing where I’m at spiritually; but in another sense what certainty I can garner about it may propel me farther, or in different directions.
In the first instance my concern is trying to get a picture of me through Your eyes. But we have already been told in many different ways what that picture is. So, questioning it seems to indicate a lack of trust. In Your eyes we are constantly the same. So, in actuality what I can know about where I’m at spiritually is predicated upon what I know candidly about myself. We always nurture the hope that You see us in a better light than we see ourselves.
Really, any understanding of where I may be spiritually is not only a picture I paint myself but is also not an answer to the question of whether I’m worth saving. That has already been answered by You, and who am I that I should question Your answer? In Your eyes the center of my being is attached to You making it surely worth saving no matter what I may think of the self I attach to it.