As You know, I have a friend who believes quite literally that marriages are made in heaven – at least his own. He and his wife are, indeed, an excellent paradigm of married love. But he knows that I tend to think differently. It’s all about how we perceive the action of God in our lives. My perception of my friend’s concept is something like God at work at some kind of master control board with which He arranges our lives. In my concept I perceive each individual human as a beloved offspring who has been “launched” on his/her own by a loving Father who intervenes when asked for help.
Maybe I’d concede the point that if my friend prayed seriously to find the perfect marriage partner God might have had some hand in it. But the necessity of our being able to make our own free choices in life is the sine qua non of love, and I firmly believe that how we love God, indeed, how we learn and grow in love at all is our gift to Him. He will help us if we ask, but we make our own choices.
The cosmic nature of some grand plan, or “God’s plan,” the way I see it, includes this “launching” of His offspring; a kind of “letting go” as parents do to a son or daughter who’s come of an age to make their own way. Arranging our marriages, careers, health, and wealth, etc., are all circumstances of the life that’s been given to us. These circumstances are, for us, the means of making a return to God. If God absolutely controlled all of them how could there be love?