What awaits us after we leave here? How many of us have actually sat down and took stock in our existence and really weighed out our options? If I died right now and were judged by God, how would it go? I would need a really good lawye, plea bragain and a miracle. I myself have been dead twice. Not very long, and nothing like the gentleman who wrote the book 90 minutes in heaven, or was it 60 minutes in heaven? I don't remember. Scientific data is always in search of such things. Answers to the unknown.
What would your tombstone say? What would people remember most about you? and what if you end up in hell? Most people dont think of these things. At 2:27 am, I am thinking of these things. Why? I have no idea. I have more issues than time magazines wharehouse I suppose.
We age do we not? Daily and by the second. We usually believe all will go to plan. We are born, become elderly and hope to die in our sleep in a peaceful state. Ever notice they always say "he died in a peaceful state in his sleep and is in a better place now"? Better place? The man is dead. Ten minutes ago he was on his couch? If I died right now, my priest would say some nice words at the funeral and explain I have gone home. NO! Home was where I should be on my couch, not in a casket. The priest may also speak on the fact that it was my time. At 40? It would be my time? That is insane at best and I have a theory on how this madness came to be.
Let us go back some years shall we. Picture this. The whole God and Jesus thing is new. It is catching on and the Church is making some cash and gaining members. You have people living right, paying the chruch in the collection box, coming to service and doing what Christians do. One day their 5 year old son dies...other people notice horrod things happening to good people as well. The question has to come up. I did everything right so why is my 5 year old dead? or why is my wife or husband dead? The Clergy would have no damn answer. Rather than admit that God does not get involved in such, or admitting that there may be no God at all....they needed something to make sure people kept coming back. They came up with the all famous "It was Gods will", "It was their time" or the other famous "God called them home". This to me is complete shit and any person with an ounce of sense must know this. I mean you cannot honestly believe that a 5 year old needed to die (maybe you do believe that, if so, you are more screwed up than I am).
Later it became if something good happened it was God, if it was bad...it was the Devil. Again, the Church needed something to lean on...someone to blame. Now, being nothing is supposed to be more powerful than God, we needed an arch enemy with super powers....enter Satan. Can this be more scripted. Old testament said if you do this or that you goto hell. This meant everyone was going to hell. What is the point of worship if you are going to hell? Why waste the time? Enter Jesus Christ. Now you can goto heaven. Screw the old laws, we got this cat now who took a dive for us. His father sent him...no wait...he is his father...but he talks to himself when he talks to his father? Somewhere someone screwed this up along the way. Easy out for the Church? Just have faith. You will never understand the trinity...no shit I wont understand it. I studied theology for 4 years and I dont get it....why? because it cannot be got, that is why. Madness.
So Jesus died for our sins and we all go to heaven....no wait...change in plans..I know that is what the book says but we still must to this or that. Madness. Sometimes if I sit too long and really take a 360 degree look at this....I realize it is pure madness. We are on this site and say we are right. If you were born a muslim, you would look at this site and say its wrong. Nothing is set in stone other than we die and that my friends, sucks. Who wants to live forever anyway? Someone always says that....I will tell you who...the children in St. Judes Hosp. cancer ward, the lady with the husband on life support, the 30 year old that just died from terminal cancer who never smoked or drank. Something here is not right. It is one of two things:
A: God is not all that interested in the goings on here and has been on vacation for quite some time.
B: God can contol what happens here and innocent people and children die. Now, I will admit when it is an act or war or murder...I get it. When it is a child, a teen or an adult under 70 who never did anything wrong...no smoking...drinking...drugs. Makes no sense. If I fell over now...ok I would get it. I lived a bent life...but others I do not get.
So which is it? or is it neither. I should call and wake up the Bishop of Pittbsurgh and ask him. The answer? God is not always understood is what he would say I bet. Not understood? How about not seen as of late? I need to figure out how many wars were fought over religion and how many died from it. Can you imagine all these people fighting and killing for someone they have never seen or met. I call the N Koreans crazy, but shit...they at least have seen who they believe is God (if you didnt know...most people believed their leader over there could be many places at once, read their thoughts, see them anywhere ect....call em nuts but we got the walk on water guy, so they more than likely think we are nuts).
Now, if there is nothing after this, how is there Ghosts? do you believe in Ghosts? What if I STARTED A RELIGION. No wait let me say that better. What if the world came to a damn end...planet of the apes style (the original...not the shit remake) and I was left with a few women and so on. What if I told people I was God. They believed me. Years and years pass and people pass my story on. Crusades are had in my name...I become more famous. How odd would that be? Then again............................................
I am full of shit at the end of this. With all the evidence above that makes sense, I still believe. Partly because I want to and partly because I need to. We all need something to believe in I suppose. I have prayed and got help. I truly cant think of a time I prayed and didnt get help (unless you count the time when I was 10 and prayed that my grandfather never would die). You see....there is no choice but to believe. God speaks to us all in different ways. We doubt and at times I must admit, his argument lacks quite a bit...notice we say him, his, he...how the hell do we even know. I am cranky...tired a bit....blood pressure raised...its time for a Xanax and sleep...I better make sure to say my prayers as well. If I go...I would like it to be in my sleep in a peaceful state. In closing...how many of you have actually seen someone die? I have. It never looked peaceful. The morphine they pumped my grandmother full of when they took her off support made the illsuion of peaceful. My friends that got shot in the sands of the middle east and those we shot up close and thru a scope....not close to peaceful. That is all for me...I am....who knows tonight...in a mood to type I suppose.