It's true. No matter where you go, there you are. Sounds silly. Sort of is sily. But here's what I mean.
Earlier in life, I always found myself suffering from a bit of wanderlust. If I lived in town, I wanted to be in the country. I I was in the country, I wanted to be in the city. When I lived in Arkansas I wanted to live in Colorado. When I moved with my husband and son to Colorado I wanted to live way up in the high country. But no matter where I landed one thing was certain. I had to live life there and make it worthwhile. I have been a Christian since my teen years so I also knew it was important to plug in with a local body and study to show myself approved, a worker who needed not to be ashamed...sing, because my gifting is in music, meet the locals...All the normal sutff we do.
But moving around I have found out one thing: all people as basically the same and doing life with them is important. We finally landed in the high country and I have been here for a long time. I'm happy. We are settled, volunteering, working, studying, socializing, praying, sharing life with a small group who live out in the boonies as we do.
I guess I found my place. The High Country of Colorado. Thin air, snow, hiking, mountains, skiing, white water rafting...but mostly serving...serving the God of the Universe who honored my biggest desire of life...to live in this beautiful place. My wanderlust is gone. I don't know if it came with age or finally finding my perfect temporary home until I go to my real one someday.
No matter where you go...there you are....to serve.
I have spent years seeing places that I though....if only I could live there, things would be great. I finally had to come to terms with the fact that I cannot run away...in the end, arriving with me will be....well....me. I had to sit down and come to terms with I cannot escape myself. I would still be me, I would still have the same problems as I did before, no matter where I ended up (I am by no means saying that is why you thought of living here or there...I just happened to realte to some of the post).
I yelled at God and shook my fist at him, took his name in ways in which it should not be spoken and have stood at the gates of hell twice (years apart and not drug or drinking realted..I always feel the need to mention that aspect...I am not sure why). I was dead in a legal sense twice and it was quite the experience. Enough to change my ways? Some. Much like when I was a child and had a paper due in school, I waited until the last minute...life is that way for me. There really is no eye openers. Dying twice and seeing the same thing twice years apart should have been enough....it was not and will not. It is tragic when I think about it. I will more than likely spend my life here and in eternity in some hell one way or another. Be it here where I am reduced to the corporate world (successful I am but its never what I wanted) as there is no job postings on monster.com for 40 year old former military soldier....I guess this is what it is for me until the end...whenever that may be....be it sooner...be it later...either way is ok for me. I have seen the world (most of it) and lived far beyond means and expectations set by myself and society as a whole I suppose. I liked this post because it reminded me that no matter where I go....I go.