Someplace else in my letters to You I talked about how much the mornings mean to me; how close I feel to You through morning prayers, Mass and communion, and then coming home to this chair in this quiet little room and reading about You and writing to You. It’s a separate world and I love it. But I live the rest of the day in a world apart from this room and this chair. I am not always so enamored of the rest of the day as I am of the mornings.
It strikes me that there ought to be some kind of nexus between these two daily worlds – a nexus that I have yet to fully grasp. More and more I have come to regard the act of sitting down in my chair, which I look upon as the lap of God, as the welcome entry into a world wonderfully better and more desirable than the world apart from that chair. It offers a peacefulness and light that the mundane does not. Yet, the quantity of time I spend with You in the mornings is small compared to the rest of the hours of the day. What I would like to learn how to do is sustain the peaceful closeness to You I feel in the mornings throughout whatever I’m doing the rest of the day.
I do think that in ways I’m not always conscious of, the mornings color parts of the rest of my day. Things pop up that sustain in action the meditations of the morning. However, I think what I’m looking for is a reliable consciousness of a spirit emanating from the morning that pervades all the rest of my day in a steady manner. This never seems to really happen, and maybe it never will. But I count it as a failing on my part and, therefore, something to be worked on and perfected. There is always some aspect of the spirit of the morning that I want to sustain through the day but which inevitably peters out, or is vaguely ignored, or pushed aside by other things. I simply don’t feel it’s enough to have the intention to maintain the spirit of the morning throughout the day. The fact that it’s so difficult, even with the intention, shows me how far I still am from You and how much more I have to do,
What a great post....and so very understandable as well. How often I have felt that same way....wanting that feeling of closeness and warmth to surround me the entire day. St Josemaria Escriva talked on this subject in great detail on many occasions....you may even say it was one of his missions with opus dei. Grear post actually....really really loved it