I guess this where my faith truly test me today...
So my project is launched and I don't even have one person backing me yet. The clock is ticking. 28 days to go. I am depending so much for all of that to work out. But I don't know if it will. I know, Let God handle it. Put it on God. I guess that is now where I am having my issue. I just wonder if God will answer my prayers. Will he listen and does he feel what it is used for will go to the right needs. Will he say yes to me this time instead of a silent no. What will he do? What will he say? I wish I knew already.
I wish I could go to the site and click my name and see that I have a few backers that are ready to be behind me and more to follow. So I wish and yet to pray some more. Yet in the back of mind is where I have my faults. I have my doubts. I quickly go to think that I won't happen. That my prayers won't be answered and all to my own. Maybe it was because of the bad that generally happens to me I am quick to believe compared to being some of the lucky ones that usually something good happens to them eventually.
I want to ask more people for help but I don't have many to ask. I want to be able to go to the tribe and ask for a business grant to help but I can't there because I am not enrolled. One speck under a quarter. Maybe that is what is getting me down. I don't know. But I have been in this constant slump for about a week. Even when I left today for a little while, still, so :( I hate this feeling. Excited for a mere moment and then :( again.
Could be a side effect to the meds, could be the weather, could be a million little things. I just know that I wish that I was able to get :) instead of :( that I could put my doubts behind my faith, instead of front. That is something that I am still learning my own way.
So I continue to pray. Praying that someone will click the link, click to donate, and many more to follow. So I pray.