In what I might call newly attained or newly granted levels of spiritual progress, I am constantly tempted to give myself some kind of credit. But moments of God-granted clarity pull me up short. In such a moment recently was given me the insight that, try as we might, we can do nothing to gain infused contemplation for ourselves. It may or may not be granted by You. That’s all! It’s totally up to You.From this I extrapolated the attainment of every spiritual goal to which we aspire. You will grant it as You see fit.
So, what is our part? Are we purely sponges? Does what we do have any value or consequence? The answer is “yes,” and goes directly to the concept of “disposition.” We can make ourselves more sensitive and finely tuned receivers by opening our “doors” ever wider. We can, by getting up every day and doing things that dispose us to this scenario, enable You to gift us. We must look with hope each day in finding You in what we do. The prayers, meditations, alms, works of charity and mercy, devotions, and contemplation, we must understand, in and of themselves do nothing but dispose us to receive what You might give. They dispose us and fine tune our ability to receive. Each one of them is a “door” through which You may enter bearing gifts. They don’t “earn” us or “merit” us anything. This whole concept is rather contrary to the notion of doing good to accrue merit for ourselves. Yet this is the popular corruption of being “religious.” It confuses me to see this widespread notion of chalking up points with God taken as the basis for religion or spirituality. I have a “tingle” that vibrates quietly in me and seems to want to convince me that a lot of the “trappings” of institutional religion are going the wrong way on a one way street.
You come to each of us in Your own way according to how we dispose ourselves to You. If we do not understand that, we are missing the point. The point is that while we imagine ourselves seeking You, it is really You who are seeking us. The twist is that whatever we do to seek You helps clear the way for You to seek us.