Letters to Jesus (Similes, Metaphors & Paradoxes)- 15
Centering prayer is prayer not of words or thoughts but of being – the being at my center. I am so unaccustomed to being in touch with my being that it seems difficult and even foreign to me. It’s a paradox that it seems easier to pray words or meditate thoughts than to simply rest in my being which is, essentially, an even easier thing to do even though it doesn’t seem so. To liquidate every connection of every syllable of every word that enters my consciousness seems painfully hard to do. To vaporize every image conjured by every thought till there is nothing is like building a pyramid from the top down. I have trouble with it. I struggle. Sometimes, like now, during the summer, I give up on it for awhile. But I always go back to it. A quiet half-hour before supper in the winter months, when it’s dark outside at that time (and, hence, dark inside with the lights off) seems best for me. To begin, the more senses I can deprive the easier it seems to go. Focusing on breathing and a simple mantra like the word “one” helps keep words and thoughts away. With the banishment of words and thoughts the self melts away and I become an open door accepting the one who would enter; an empty cup waiting to be filled. Quite simply it is a time to allow God to love me without me interfering; without ever feeling the threat of not being loved. Ideally I could live in the knowledge of the love of God. But “ideally” doesn’t work so often with one so preoccupied.