These letters I write to You are a big part of my life. I anxiously anticipate writing to You regularly. I believe they are a huge factor in the development of my spiritual life. However, I wonder how much of what I write to You I really incorporate into my life. It’s easy to sit in the lap of God (my chair) relaxed and in silence and write what’s on my mind. When it’s all finished I read it back and it looks good. I’ve said what I want; on to the next topic. But is there any residual in my life? Is there anything of what You may be revealing to me through these letters? If I’ve thought any good thoughts and shared them with You – so what? A life unexamined may not be worth living but to make it worthwhile goes beyond just examining it.
Certainly there are some things You and I have shared that have made some impact on my life and my thinking. I suspect the themes of “love” and “self” have popped up more often than anything else and I further suspect that the reason for this is not so much what I want to say to You as it is what You want to say to me. I do like to peruse letters from the past that I have written to You. When I do this I discover that a great percentage of them have been forgotten and individually have had little, if any, effect on my life. But here’s the bright spot: the whole body of the hundreds of letters I’ve written to You have, in an ongoing way, had a significant effect on my relationship with You and on my overall spiritual growth.
As I get older my mind is becoming more and more like a sieve, but there is an aspect of gain in losing forever what is past. That gain is influenced by the totality of what I’ve written to You, and that influence will weigh on whatever I write to You in the future. These letters formed me in ways I do not fully fathom; and in the act of writing them, whatever they may be about, there is nothing better at keeping Your presence before me in the moment.