I admire and try to emulate the gifts of speed and accuracy in performing tasks. The master craftsmen possess this efficiency. It is the professional who does the best job in the shortest amount of time that gets the most work. Athletes who are gifted with speed are also premium players at their sport. Despite the maxim that “slow and steady wins the race” we adore and cheer the flashy rabbits. Speed wins!
Well, even though I do like to get chores done quickly I am, in my thinking processes, something of a turtle. I’ve always wondered why a person like myself who loves words, loves to write, majored in English and minored in journalism, was so slow and inept at the spoken word. I’m wondering if it’s not because I’m such a slow thinker. Articulate, quick-witted individuals are near the top of my “wanna-be” list. I’m just not one of them. My brain is at least two steps behind my mouth. I always think of the perfect thing to say well after the opportunity has past. Maybe that’s why I’m so comfortable with writing. It gives me time to think and allows me the needed interval to come up with the right words.
In a way it may be a blessing. Silence is safer. The quick mouth often has a foot in it. Once things are out of the mouth they can’t be brought back whereas a written page can be edited and/or destroyed before being read by others. I “speak” to You very carefully in these letters. I say pretty much what I want to say the way I want to say it. It’s a luxury. Though there is something of spontaneity lacking in it, there is heart. But there is also a danger in my “thinking” becoming like a religion. In my thoughts I create a world unto myself which, I allow, needs no expression. To speak it chips away at it. Could this be a rationale for my verbal deficiencies? I am convinced that I am comfortable in this silence. I hide in it.