TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE LOVE OF GOD FOR US-PART ONE
The most important and largest impact that develops our relationship with God is the relationship that we experienced with our earthly father. It is probably impossible not to be influenced in some way, and maybe in a very large way, by what our relationship with our father was when we think about our feelings for our heavenly Father. There is also a difference whether one is a man or a woman because the two genders are treated differently by our earthly father !!! We are not capable of understanding God and so the only reference is what we have experienced, and sometimes this is unfortunate. We tend to forget that our earthly father was driven by the same emotions as we are, and they include love, hate, envy, pride, immorality and often times stupidity. God does not have these emotions except for one and that is love. Unlike our earthly father, everything God does for us is done out of love, whereas on earth we experience all sorts of behavior from our father and sometimes it is very painful and often unnecessary. But, we have no choice but to carry this baggage along with us throughout our lives and have it have some influence over all of our relationships.
There are some that have had an excellent relationship with their father, but unfortunately, the reality is that there are very few. Mostly, we have all received some sort of abuse from our father either physical or emotional, however, in most cases, this was not intentional; it is just that our father too is or was human. The thought of total and unconditional love and forgiveness is almost impossible for us to comprehend since it has probably never happened for many of us.
If we assume a normal family in which the father is present until the child leaves home, we find that the differences between a boy and his father has a much different relationship then does a girl and her father. As the boy gets older, all sorts of emotional barriers begin. The competition starts between the two and the father always has the last word and this is very frustrating to the boy. It is not unusual for the father to actually fear the son because the father knows that at some point, the son is going to beat the father in whatever the competition may be about. Although this is all human nature and normal, it does not make it easier to experience for both parties. There is physical abuse sometimes and also punishment for what the father decides needs punishing. The father has absolute control over the boy for a very long time and this never feels good to the boy and frustrations build and cause negative feelings. There are also times when the father leaves the family and the feeling of abandonment sets in. Even if the father dies while still a part of the family, the boy is then left without the development of a relationship with a father figure. A stepfather is just not the same or some other father type figure. We only have one earthly father.
Girls have very different experiences with their father. The little girl is usually the apple of the eye of the father and he becomes very protective of her as she begins to grow and develop. No boy is good enough for his princess during the teenage years and the father has a difficult time saying no to his little beauty without the father giving a lot of thought as to what the girl wants is good for her. Girls learn how to manipulate boys very early on, but this is not unusual, in fact it is normal. There is nothing wrong with this activity unless the girl uses her abilities to her detriment. But, learning how to interact with men begins with their father, however God is not interested in what a woman has to offer other than her soul !!! Unfortunately, many girls experience physical and sexual abuse and learn not to trust men and it is very hard to understand that our Father is different than her earthly father because she has no comparison. It is unfortunate that girls have what most men want and most men will do anything to get it, including abuse of all sorts. The effect on the girl is more unfortunate because her relationships with men is always effected in a negative way and it is not her fault, but she is the one that suffers the most. The effect that early abuse towards a girl has is so profound that some find it impossible to have a life that includes a trusting relationship with any man. And, although He is not like any human male, God is a male figure and it is almost impossible to overcome the terrible scars left on the girl from earlier experiences.