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   [17 Nov 2010 | Wednesday]

A Good Man

I hear a lot of woman say “where are all the GOOD men”, now that I am in a different place than I was when I was young, I realize that we as women, a help mate the bible calls us, have in our power the ability to help our men be that good man that we are looking for.

My friend Nikki was talking about something she heard Steve Harvey saying, she went on to say, first of all she didn’t like Steve Harvey, but he was saying something that got her attention, what got her attention was, Steve was talking about the women in the church, how there are so many women in the black churches, and other churches, looking for a GOOD man. When you go to the churches you will see more women than men. Women never stop and think that they have a lot to do with how the man treats them. I will say for me when I was a child, I didn’t grow up around any women that had an understanding of how to help their man become a better man. My mother, grandmother and great grandmother to me were very angry most of the time. Because of the anger that they had in them they were not able to see how they had a lot to do with how there husbands treated them.

Back in the 50’s when I was a child, women didn’t get a divorce like they do now. Back then they just put up with their husband thinking that they didn’t have any other choice, because of that way of thinking, they stayed irritated and fearful most of the time. When you are angry and pissed off, a lot of times you can not see pass that feeling.

When more women started going to collage and they got higher paying jobs, that gave them freedom, a choice, by giving them a choice that made them feel that everything was going to be better. But now we can see over fifty years later, that life isn’t better, it‘s not better because we are not being the help mates that God has called us to be. We have the power and freedom to do what we want to do now, but at what cost???

I know first hand what it feels like to have anger and disrespect inside of me for a man, and when you are a religious minded woman, you don’t realize that you are replacing anger and disrespect with control. Control masked as love, because I love you and I know what is best for you and me, I need for you to do things my way. A lot of times women do understand a better way of doing things, but if you talk to your man in a controlling manner, which makes him feel like a child, then you are not going to get him to do things in a way that will help you to feel peaceful and secure…

As I said when I was a child, I wasn’t around a father, grandfather or great grandfather that knew how to do anything other than work and pay the bills. That old saying “when mama’s not happy then no one is happy”, so I will say the men were unhappy most of the time too.

Now that I am getting older, and I realize how important peacefulness and good health is, I stopped and said to myself, what can I do to become a help mate for my husband. To stop thinking that I know it all, and stop trying to be in control of him and everything else. Men don’t change there way of doing things to fast, but we can, so I said to myself, let me get pass what I didn’t learn as a child, so that I can stop being a control freak. Now that I am no longer acting like a monster, I am able to be of service to my husband, my son and any other person that can understand were I’m coming from…

Ladies the more we get in our place as the help mate for our men, the more we will see things turn around for the better. Our children will know what it feels like to be in a peaceful home, they will see daddy doing things for the family, not just working all the time. We as women will understand what it feels like to not act like the man and the woman. By being in our place as the HELP MATE, we will see God helping our men become the man that we always needed them to be…

 

The moral to this story is: ladies, if YOU stop being a CONTROL freak, maybe then you will be able to become a help mate and the man that you are with can become that GOOD MAN that you are looking for…

Oh by the way you WANT find a perfect man in the church, everyone has baggage, things that you want like about that person…

 

Mood: peaceful
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