Letters to Jesus (Ego, False-self, and Groundhog Day -14
I am wondering: is there or isn’t there a connection between Your love for me and the role that “luck” (chance) plays in determining my state in life, my condition in life, my role in life?
Is it pure chance that I am an American, a citizen of a most blessed country; that I am more materially blessed and comfortable that half or more of the rest of the world; that I have received a high degree of education and have huge amounts of leisure time that I fill with diversions of my choice? Is this all luck? Would I be the person I am if all these accidents of my life were different?
There are many things like my birth and early upbringing over which I had no control. The greatest amount of who and what I am was shaped by my parents, friends and the church. Although my musings in this regard may be whimsical, I am wondering if the chance components of my external being (my persona) were the raw materials given to You with which to work, or were they given by You to me and others to constructmy life?
If we truly believe that You love the soul of the most miserable, destitute, and perverse human being no more or no less than You loved St. Francis or St. Theresa, then we must admit that the accidents of life not only are not Your gift, but that You are essentially unconcerned with them. What this comes to is that in Your eyes it is not so important or consequential where I was born, or where I live, how healthy or wealthy I am, or how much security, leisure, comfort or education I have. These are the chance items I get from and give back to the world as attachments to Your gift of life. The things the world might be envious of have nothing to do with Your love for me which is spiritual.
There is something petty and trivial about all our earthly attachments and accomplishments – so petty and trifling when weighed against the spiritual that they sometimes strike me as comic especially in the ways we’re deluded by the treadmill of our daily activities. I am as guilty as anyone in this spiritual short-sightedness. It chafes at me to ponder the stark insight that the half or more of the world that is not as healthy, wealthy, comfortable and materially blessed as the half in which I find myself has so much more in the way of angst, despair and fatalism to overcome in order to get to You. The riddle of Your love for the poor has, in this, an answer.
The circumstances and attachments of each of our lives, like iron filings to a magnet, attach themselves to us as accidents of our existence on this planet. How we utilize, shape, or dismiss these accidents is part of the common recipe of how we return the love shown in Your gift of life.