Letters to Jesus (Unhelpful Mindsets and Attitudes) -17
Somewhere I’ve heard that the better part of our lives is spent seeking various forms of consolation. Affirmation that I’m OK or that I’m “feeling good” about myself is a top-of-the-line priority. Even if I see through the flaws of this mindset it still has a profound effect upon my everyday life.
I try hard (but maybe not hard or consistently enough) to see You in the people and events of each day. I wonder about “feeling good” about it.I also wonder about the fact that I find it difficult to do. This leads me, therefore, to wonder if such wondering is a sign that I’m far from You.
Actually, I don’t need a sign to know that there are plenty of times I’m far from You. There’s little consolation in that, but, with Your grace, there are things I can do about it.The fact remains, though, that a good indicator of self-negation is the degree to which consolation and affirmation shed their desirability. So there is comfort here.
It seems so automatic and beyond our control to desire affirmation and consolation - but it’s not!Actually, as I reflect upon it, You seem closer to me in those times when I reject affirmation and/or consolation.
I continue to learn about the many aspects of erasing my “self,” and, as I do so, I learn that each “mini-death” draws me closer to You and further from myself. In the pain associated with this kind of growth there is hope, and in hope there is consolation. It is not the world’s “pat on the back” but rather Your hand on my shoulder and Your whisper of “yes” in my ear.