WOW! AA was amazing! I was off work at 3:30, and had to wait around downtown for Sherry to arrive. She came around 5, quarter after and we walked to her place where her husband (also a former drug addict, and alcoholic), and another young person was there. I was so nervous and scared. But somehow, I got through that part, and we were off in her car to the meeting. I got there, and was blown away by these people and their stories. Although I do not consider myself an alcoholic by any means, as I do not drink. My biggest problems lye within substance abuse and chemical drugs. However, how these people related to one another and shared a part of their deepest pasts and memories, it was just utterly amazing! I can't find any other words to justify it. And to my surprise, many of them had a firm founded relationship with God. ANNNNDDD when I was there listiening to these people and their lives, I saw a white glow around them. I could have either sworn it was Jesus sitting behind these people or my eyes were playing tricks on me. Then, on the way home, one of the boys I met and whom was also given a ride, said he could "really feel the spirit in there" ... this just confirmed it. They dropped me off downtown and I took a bus from there. On the bus, I spent moments praying to God, thanking him for having lead me to this place. For having introduced me to such amazing people. People who share, hurt, and feel as I do or have once did upon a time ago.
When I got home, I was outside, smoking before heading off to bed. I was again, taken aback and the wonders I've turned a blind eye to. Little things, such as the clouds and how theyy form and flow just filled me with this sense of hope and life. I haven't felt that way in YEEEAARRRSSS! I thanked God. I thanked him for having given me this opportunity to wittness his love, wittness his grace, and perhaps, wittness his mercy and forgiveness. I hope this is a start to a better relationship with whom gave me first this life in which I thought I wad doomed to live. I am very slowly realizing, not everyday is going to be full of hope and inspiration, but for today; it is everything I can imagine. Tomorrow is tomorrow. I want to learn to let the things I cannot change be just that, and learn to change the things in which I am able to learn, grow, and form from.