Well, yesterday I got in touch with a therapist whom I have my first appt with Thursday (my day off!)... so that should be interesting. My mom doesn't agree with it and thinks it's stupid. But I've grown to become a young adult and I need to make choices that are going to shape the rest of my life. (Now why can't I be this insightful all the time?) I spoke with the therapist briefly over the phone and told him some of my struggles that I've been facing lately. It seems to me summer holds the most challanges. I'm reminded of the times I spent with my friends, having no cares in the world, cruising down the highways high on drugs and euphoria. Then within the blink of an eye, it's all been stripped away, as a point of moving forward. Now, even though I haven't slid off the tracks (yet), I'm wishing I could go back to those days if not only for 1 day. I hope this therapist can help me overcome the cravings that should have died long ago with the reality of my old friends, and old good times.
After getting off the phone with him, he gave me a number to a lady who was addicted to crystal meth, heroin and every other drug in the book . He said I should call her whenever I feel the desire to use, or go looking for some. So, I did just that. And now, for the first time ever, I am going to an AA meeting. I'm not an alcoholic, but she says the meetings are amazing, and I could relate to many others in there. So those are my plans for tonight. I'm so nervous and scared. What if I run into somebody I don't know there? :S