For a number of years I weekly partook of what my church called “an hour of adoration.” My adoration added absolutely nothing to You, but it held a great deal of meaning for me – not so much through adoration as through opportunities for silent contemplation.
Contemplation, in one sense, seems like such a selfish kind of prayer and, in another sense, such a selfless way of praying. It seems selfish in the sense that when engaged in contemplation it is primarily one’s own relationship with You that is paramount – not praying for or remembering others, or world problems, or the sick or poor or anything else – those things are automatically entrusted into Your hands. What seems most important is how close I can get to You; how much I can unite myself with You; how I can do Your will; how much I long to be with You.
In another sense, contemplation is selfless in that while it is true that it centers on my self and You – the self of me is given over to You. Take me as I am just as You give me Yourself. I abandon me to You just as You did and do for me. Only in this abandonment of self at the time of contemplation can I seem to reach any degree of union with You. And I wonder, how can one be so much of the world, with so many parts to play in it – and even enjoy it – and still be contemplative?