Regarding absolute self-abandonment and surrender to You, Fenelon says, “…until you reach the point of surrender your life will be full of trouble and aggravation. Your talents will torment you. Your religious ideals will condemn you. The moment you stop wanting things to be your way you will be free from so much worry and concern…”
The rub for a person like me is that I may never reach a point of complete surrender in my life until I die; and that’s worrisome because as Fenelon says, I will have lived a whole life of my talents and religious ideals giving me troubles and aggravation – a whole life of wanting things to be “my way.”
Making life-changes due to insights such as this are strewn all along the path of my life’s journey, but every one of them pulls up short of complete surrender. I tend to think that surrender is connected in a positive way to Anthony DeMello’s concept of “awareness.” At the point at which we are able to genuinely awaken to our true selves, surrender becomes a logical segue.
Part of the barrier against surrender is the false self which we cling to and to which our talents, religious ideals, and our penchant for insisting on our own way contribute. Each of these causes us worry and anxiety that builds up our false selves and covers up our awareness of our true selves. The awareness of our true selves grows proportionately with the surrendering of our worries and anxieties about those things. It’s a disposition – a disposing of one’s attitude towards oneself! If, through practice, I am able to have and accept my talents and my religious ideals and pay no heed to the worries and anxieties attached to them, I will become more aware of my true self, and this awareness will at least dispose me to the beginnings of surrender.