I want to talk to You about something that happens often enough to be both bothersome and a source of shame. It’s, what I might call, the “Peter-syndrome” - the predicament of knowing that I love You so much but being so cowardly that at the times of greatest expedience I fail to give witness to my love for You. What is it, Lord, that makes me afraid to acknowledge You to others?
At a recent gala event I was speaking with a young woman I knew. She was sharing with me how down she felt because her mother was very ill. I nearly choked before I got out that I would pray for her. Even then I had to add, “seriously!”. Maybe it was because she was part of the entertainment that night and was wearing a roaring 20’s “flapper” dress, and she had a cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other that it just seemed incongruent to say, “I’ll pray for her”. Or, maybe it was just because acknowledging You in any way might convey an image of me or a vulnerability which I would not want others to have. Why not? I think I can honestly say that I’d like people to have an image of me as someone who loves You. So, why am I so cowardly about projecting it?