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11:07 AM   [02 Oct 2009 | Friday]

Letters to Jesus (God and me) - 22

22.

Dear Jesus,
 

  In my view, the relationship You and I have is bigger than anything. This may account for a self-perception of somewhat impatient tolerance toward others. Indeed, tolerance is the right word. In my view, which I think is askew, the relationship is fairly direct. I don’t always see it as going through other people. It’s almost as if the rest of the world is an inside joke between You and me. There is something gnawing at me though, that tells me this approach is way off base. Why am I here amidst all these other people whom You love just as much as me? Have these people the same relationship with You as I? In my jaded view the answer is “no” - ours is special! Yet there exists the very strong possibility that it is special only because I so choose it to be. This is my club and I don’t want anybody else to join. Maybe this is the ultimate selfishness among all my selfishnesses. There’s pride connected to it too. I perceive that I know You in ways other people are incapable of. I think I understand things about You and the usefulness and limitations of Your church. You Yourself, who are my friend and model, never shunned anyone. You became exasperated with them at times, but You never shunned them. Maybe it’s this kind of exasperation that I nurture. I wonder if I were You if I’d have me for a friend.  

 

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