I am my own mistake! I am not God’s mistake. I am not the mistake of anyone else. I am not the mistake of heredity or environment. I am my own mistake! I write upon the blank slate God has given me in my own words. I absorb from others things of my own choice. I ultimately am the captain of my ship. It all seems so contrary to denying my self, but it also seems to be the way God wants it. Even the choice to deny or amplify self is mine. Other factors influence us, dispose us, interest us, or repel us with varying degrees of power, but it is we who allow them to do that; we who make the choices.
Though it contradicts the philosophy of life I’ve grown into, it cannot be categorically denied that I am responsible for the “me” in my life. The very reason I can be judged individually is because the history of my choices reflects the image of “me” I have fabricated instead of the “I” that has been given to me. This false self, warts and all, says a lot about who I have become.
Philosophically I may contemplate the spiritual side of my existence as a mystical bond with the existence of God – a welcome fact not of my choosing, yet offered for my acceptance. My choices are intimately connected with facts outside my will. God has given me life. God loves and cares for me as His child. God beckons me to Himself.
We like to blame others, or circumstances of life, for our faults. But there is much wisdom in recognizing the futility of blame. We make our own mistakes and we choose the way we react to our circumstances. As much as I embrace the concept of the “self” as being the most potent obstacle to spiritual growth, it cannot be denied that the “self” makes our choices.