Several troubling things have happened to me lately, but I'm still able to be thankful to God, and that's actually bringing me a lot of happiness.
The reason for the thankfulness: More than 4 months ago I started trying to regain my faith, after 40 years of being pretty much an agnostic. I've prayed, gone to church, read the Bible, and prayed some more. I've given thanks for the good things in my life--there are many.
Some of the prayers have been answered--actually a lot of them, although mostly in ways that I hadn't expected. I've experienced the feeling of forgiveness when I prayed for it. I've felt God close by, and felt Him encircling the whole world with a calm caring and a strong power to see that all goes well here. I've remembered a thought that came into my mind long ago, in those agnostic years, and I had no idea where it came from... which is very helpful to me now, as if God knew I'd need that thought some day far off. So maybe He was caring about me even when I wasn't trying to establish contact with Him.
I'll never forget those wonderful things and I'll always have the hope that that was Him. Even if I get no farther in faith, there will always be that hope with me, making things easier to bear.
For that, and for those signs and the guidance... I will never give up on God, never totally doubt Him again. And if that was Him, He knows of my thankfulness and love. I felt myself loving Him when those signs of His presence and caring happened, and I feel it more now, for the help it's giving me in this hard time.
