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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 28 Years

State: VA
Country: United States

Signup Date: 11/20/2014

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12:07 PM   [20 Nov 2014 | Thursday]

Purity vs. Impurity- Staying Morally Clean before God

 Some people may wonder how would ask me how can I be 22 years old and still be a virgin.  A lot of people would find it hard to believe, but I can tell you that it’s true. A lot of people would ask me how I deal with it and if it’s hard to live that way and my answer would be no. It is not hard at all when you have God in your life. I am a person who is staying pure.

What does it mean to stay pure? It simply means refraining from intercourse until marriage, also known as abstinence.

When I was sixteen years old and I moved to Virginia. I was a virgin at that time but didn’t have the faith that I have now. We all know that at that age or a bit younger is when you start dating which means facing temptation and peer pressure. Most people in today’s society seem to think sex prior to marriage is perfectly normal and will think it’s okay to do. 

It’s a normal reaction for teens and young adults to get that feeling of temptation but when you follow God, it’s easier to say no to it and push it away. The Holy Ghost gives you strength and helps you focus more on His Word and not on worldly things. The more you stay in the word and involved in God, the more you love him, and you see the sins you commit and the more the Holy Ghost will help you overcome this feeling.  Some people may ridicule you for it; it has happened to me. You may get teased or judged, because you are not following the crowd. It’s better to be your own person and follow your own heart and do what is right than to follow other people. When you are a Godly person, you just think about God and what He would do. Most true Christians should know that fornication before marriage is a sin.

For example, this bible verse that refers to fornication before marriage states:

 1 Corinthians 6: 9-11

 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

Fornication is the first thing mentioned in this verse, along with the other things, fornication being one of them, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven and will be condemned.



Now a lot of non-believers will not understand and will ask how sex before marriage is a sin? First, It’s not a sin to have intercourse, but it’s a sin to have intercourse outside of marriage. God doesn’t hate it or push it away, He encourages it.

God created sex for a reason. He created it as a way for people, in marriage, to express their feelings of love to each other. It should be a passionate and good thing. It’s a way for people to have a family, because God loves families and wants people to have children, and if you are in a married and committed relationship with someone, then it’s different. God wants his children, all of us on earth, to enjoy life, and sex is a part of that, within marriage.

Of course, people who don’t know God or follow him will not abide by this, but even Christians can face the temptation of sin, but if they know the word of God and what is right and wrong, and are true believers, then they follow it, by the help of the Holy Spirit. If we as Christians, repent, come to Christ and begin to walk the way God wants, while filling up on the Word, He will change us. He will change us, bit by bit. He will do the same thing for non believers and forgive you no matter what you have done in your life, even fornication before marriage, but only if you vow to make that change. It also helps if Christians find someone of the opposite sex who is a Christian, and you won’t have to worry about being pressured, and to follow his Word. God has a plan for you and will bring you that right, Godly person when it’s the right time.


Society and media encourages promiscuity and portrays it as perfectly which I believe is one of the biggest reasons that a lot of people are doing it. If you’re constantly seeing something like that and seeing it portrayed as normal; it will sway people into it if they are not grounded in the Lord. When we are in sin, we cannot see clearly to see how far we have fallen. Nothing today on media or in the world is clean anymore, and is influencing people the wrong way. Children shouldn’t be growing up in that kind of environment. The best way is to know God and to avoid the people who put you down and pressure you. We have to pray for people, but we do not need to be around people who abuse us verbally. We need to speak what is right with love and pray, no matter what the cost.


    When I  was sixteen, I really began to understand how some people view young teens and young adults.

 I had just moved to Virginia. I was home with my mom as she was getting ready to go to work. We were upstairs and I asked my mom something as I walked toward her in the hallway. That was the last I remember before I fainted.

Mom told me I fell back like a rock. She ran to check me and saw I was breathing. She said I then opened my eyes but seemed confused. She talked to me and rubbed my face hard. I woke but felt weak. Mom said I was pale and asked if I had eaten, which I had not since the day before. She made me stay where I was and got me juice with sugar in it. As soon as I drank it, I was fine. She made me eat something and she felt I had low blood sugar. So as soon as I was fine, she took me to an urgent care place up the street.

The physician’s assistant who treated me began to order blood tests, and mom listened as she told the tech what to draw blood for. One of the tests she asked for was a pregnancy test. My mom said, “Excuse me, she does not need a pregnancy test; she is still a virgin.” Well the PA looked at my mom like she had three heads and as if mom was clueless and crazy. My mom of course could see this and said, “Let me leave the room and you can talk to her.” She did and I explained to the woman that I was not sexually active. I think she was shocked to hear that.

My mom and I know that medical personnel have to be safe and ask, but she assumed, and what was worse, she assumed either my mom thought that pre-marital sex was ok, since she asked for the test in front of mom, or that mom was clueless.

As it turned out, mom was right and it was hypoglycemia, easily handled.

It seems most people automatically assume that all teens and young adults are fornicating and think you’re just a little odd, when you say you’re not. It’s just really a sad society today and everybody thinks that nobody is able to stay pure anymore.

At first, it was hard for me, and I dated a couple guys who kept pressuring me into having sex. I was a believer at the time but I wasn’t there 100% percent. I loved Jesus and God, but I was still listening to secular music and watching secular things, I did some drinking, acted out a lot, was selfish, and had a bad temper. I still was smart enough to know that it was wrong and knew it because I was taught it and grew up in a Christian home. I gave them up and it was hard but I would rather be single then commit a sin. I know that God will bring me the right guy when it’s the right time and I won’t have to face pressure. I now know that I made the right choice because it’s not right to be with someone who is unequally yoked, simply meaning being with someone not following Christ.  If we are able to know someone as a friend first, really know that person, enjoy their company and seek someone who also wants to please the Lord, it is much easier. Together you and the person you see could make guidelines to live by as you pursue life together. You will have a Godly relationship with that person and will be much happier than you would be with an ungodly person.



It’s really not true when people say that everybody is doing it when really that is not true. I went to a Christian outreach event called Acquire the Fire and at this event, there were probably about 3,000 people there and almost all of them were young junior high and high school kids. These were people who know the right things and who love Jesus. I could see them and see how much they love Jesus and God. I met many sincere people there. That is where I was recommitted to Jesus fully. It’s not just them, there are millions of Christians in this world and a lot of them are young teens. I also know many people who are staying pure until marriage. It’s not as hard as people think it is to stay pure. I know many people who are courting and are doing it successfully and are very happy. God can forgive. There are many people who weren’t saved and fornicated, and then became saved and promised not to do it again until marriage. If you are that kind of person and want to forgiven and changed, God can change you, and will forgive you, but you have to promise to him that you won’t do it again until marriage and not everyone can make that kind of promise. Really none of us can remain pure without Christ.

People do this and stay pure by reading the Word each day, by being active in church and helping others, and with the help of the Holy Spirit, who Jesus told us would give is power and wisdom. It also helps by being with a person also committed to the Lord.

The world is upside down, and evil is glorified, and the people trying to avoid the evil and sin are mocked for doing the right thing. That is sad, but I am not sad, because nothing is as wonderful as walking with Jesus and finding someone who walks with Him too to marry.



It’s all up to you. Everyone has free will and can make a choice. I made a promise to myself when I was sixteen, that I would continue to stay pure until marriage. I even have a purity ring that I wear. That ring is my outward promise to God that I will not break. The heart has to be right to please God, so the ring without the heart change is nothing. The ring is my outward sign to others and myself that I walk His way.

I don’t regret it at all. I am happy in my life and will wait until marriage to have sex.  If you pursue God and Jesus in your life, then this kind of thing won’t be overwhelming to you. The most important part of  your life will be God. Everything I do, I do for Him and my life is His.  It’s easy to say no when you have God and are fully committed, because the more you know Him and live in the Word, the more your heart wants to please Him and the more you hate sin. He is the one who will rescue you from sin and can make you whole.


Anyone who is facing temptation or having trouble with your faith, this is for you. Don’t ever let anyone judge you or pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do. Stay strong and God will help you and provide for you. I want this to influence people and help them grow in their faith or if they don’t have faith, to look at this, and maybe have God in your life. I want this to inspire people. God is the answer to your problems and is the one who will help you stay away from temptations.


Even if you have had sex, perhaps got pregnant, or whatever you did before, Jesus loves you. He will forgive you if you come with a repentant heart to Him. As you grow in faith reading the Word, He will make you clean. That was why He went to the cross. His precious blood shed for all of us, so we can come before a Holy God.


Stand strong, stand with Christ and be salt and light for those in your life. I am not perfect, but with Jesus I can be salt and light. You can be too!


Carly B. 

Mood: grateful
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