I have been praying that God would put an undying, burning fire and desire in my heart to want to know Him more.
And as usual, I did not really know, to an extent, what I was really saying.
Did you know that The Lord really does listen?
Because wow! Just wow! I have had such a true undying, burning fire and desire to want to know God more.. Just like I asked him to give me. God is so good!
I LITERALLY have not been able to put His Word down. I have spent so much time reading and exploring and asking my brothers and sisters questions! God's presence is so evident and is teaching me so much everyday and I am still so hungry!
I also pray that I am NEVER satisfied with where I am in my walk with The Lord and that I am ALWAYS growing and learning so that he can work through me and bring glory to His name!
God has opened my eyes to so much. This new journey, this new life... it is truly beautiful. God is leading me in everything and he is showing me how beautiful he is, how marveouls his creations are, his love for me and for everyone.
I want to share what has been on my heart lately:
I lost my job about two months ago and have since gotten a new one. My new job is absolutely wonderful and it is at a Christian establishment. Everyone is always encouraging and we all love The Lord. It is wonderful. However, I am still trying to play "catch up" with finances. That is SO SO SO SO SOOOO stressful! God keeps reassuring me that He will take care of me and He will provide.
"You are my child. You are seeking me with your whole heart. Do not worry! I will take care of you! Are you not much more important than the birds and flowers?"
Even though I keep getting this reassurance, I was having so much trouble giving my worries to God and truly trusting Him. I really wanted to let go, but I couldn't. I started beating myself up so bad about not trusting God when he is our only trustworthy source.
My mind and my heart were consumed in all of this and I was full of conflict on every level.
Finally, God made me lay down and be still.
"Be still and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10
He wanted me to listen.
So, I did. I laid down on my back, in the middle of my bedroom floor and asked God to speak to me and to let me listen!
I said, "God, I am having so much trouble letting go of this worry about finances and bills so TAKE it from me! Why am I having so much trouble trusting you? You are GOD."
In that moment, God said to me, "My child, your walk with me is new. Slow down. Breathe. Take baby steps. You cannot do something I have yet to TEACH you. Let me teach you HOW to trust Me!"
WOW GOD!! He is so marvelous!
God has proved to us over and over again in His Word that he is worthy of trust, but sometimes we need to slow down and ask God to teach us how. He is, in fact, our teacher.
How often do we rush through things and do it our own way?
Are you struggling with something?
Ask Jesus to slow you down and teach you! He wants to! He holds us in his arms and we are safe!