Home >> Blogs >> Surrender

this user is offline now  Elizaut
Send message



May 2020
April 2020
March 2020
February 2020
January 2020
December 2019
November 2019
October 2019
September 2019
August 2019
July 2019
June 2019
May 2019
April 2019
March 2019
February 2019
January 2019
December 2018
November 2018
October 2018
September 2018
August 2018
July 2018
June 2018
May 2018
April 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
December 2017
November 2017
October 2017
September 2017
August 2017
July 2017
June 2017
May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
January 2017
December 2016
November 2016
October 2016
September 2016
August 2016
July 2016
June 2016
May 2016
April 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
November 2014
October 2014
September 2014

Who Gives Kudos:




  I am new to this and I am not sure exactly how it works. I have always tried to journal, but I am very inconsistent in that. So, I thought I would try something new. Sometimes when I do journal and get into God's Word, I just get so excited and want to share! So I am trying out this whole blogging stuff so that I can look back and see my growth as a Christian and so that I can share the things God shows and teaches me. My prayer as I start this new journey of blogging is that God would speak through me. 

I have been raised in the BIble belt. My parents took me to church every time the doors were open. I have a wonderful family who loves me and loves The Lord. So as a young child, I got baptized. I can't remember exactly how old I was; somewhere between the age of 7 and 10. I distinctly remember doing it because my friends did. However, I considered myself saved. 
I continued to go to church, read scripture, go to church camps, pray with people, and so on. I knew what to say and when to say it. I did all the "right" things because that was all I had ever known. The older I got, I began to question my salvation, as many of us do. But I didn't think much of it. There were so many times when I would feel God tugging on my heart during sermons and church services and I felt like I should go to the front.. But Satan would always whisper, "No, you are saved. Don't worry about going up front. You are fine." I didn't realize at the time that it was Satan. So I wouldn't go to the front, I would just keep convincing myself I was saved. 
At 16 years old, I was raped by my best friend. I ran so far from what little desire I had to truly know The Lord. But only on the inside; on the outside, I kept up my "Christian" look. I was too prideful to letl anyone know that I not only questioned my salvation, but I was running from it. 
A few years later, I felt like I should forgive my rapist. The moment I felt this, I ran even further. I had so much hatred built up. 
I continued to stay in church and keep up my appearance. 
Finally, 5 years later, I had been asking God to use me but I didn't really know what I was saying.. Well, I got frustrated because I didn't feel like God was using me and I "wanted him to". So on Friday, September 12, 2014, I was driving to work, slammed my hands on my steering wheel and yelled, "God just break me!!" Again, I didn't really know what I was saying, but God was listening (as always) and wow!! God started  breaking me. He had me all over His Word reading scripture! I kept reading James 1. I couldn't figure out why. Then I got stuck on this verse,
"if you claim to be religious, but don't control your tongue, your religion is worthless." James 1:26. 
God broke me. Wednesday, September 17, 2014, The Lord completely broke me. He stripped me of everything; all my pride, all my lies, and my sin. God broke me and exposed me. 
"Look at yourself. You do not truly know me as you claim to. You do not have a relationship with me. It doesn't matter how far or how deep in sin you feel, I love you." 
This is what I felt Jesus saying to me! How comforting!!!! In my exposure, I felt comfort. I am so undeserving of God's unconditional love, but He loves me anyway. In the deepest of depths, He loves me. There is NO where that Our Savior cannot reach!! And oh how comforting it is to know that we don't have to "clean ourselves up" to come before God. We can come to Him just as we are; broken and humbled. 
Thursday, September 18, 2014, I called my preacher's wife and shared my experience with her while on my lunch break at work. So, right then and there, in the middle of the parking lot in my car and on the phone, I surrendered. I now truly serve God and I am so hungry to grow and share! God is so good!! 
How often do we hear God knocking at the doors of our heart, yet we choose to ignore it? God will only keep knocking for so long. Is He knocking at your heart today? Don't ignore it! Surrender to Jesus! He is Author and Creator of Life! 
Mood: loved
- 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add comment 

Copyright © 2009 - 2012 True2ourselves. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.