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12:30 PM   [19 Sep 2014 | Friday]

On a Path of Decline God Conquered Over Death.

The Doctors told me later that they did not expect me to survive. Neither did anyone (friends, etc.) who came to visit me. But I was healing so fast that I could hardly believe it and the Doctors had the same problem. The nurses were so happy and said I was their best patient! I think they meant that I was their best patient because I was healing so fast that it encouraged them in the work they did in that Hospital. Several people died while I was there. I know because it was another small Hospital - Advanced care. Still, he prognosis for me was that I would stay in the hospital for some time - there. They were giving me Dialysis three times a day. When I left the hospital I would continue on Dialysis and have to go to a residential care home. Both sent shivers down my spine. I am 67, but I knew it would be very depressing for me to be in that environment and I suffer from depression anyway from the PTSD. I knew it would not be mentally healthy for me. Then it was suggested that I might have to leave my house in the "Upper Country" and sell it to move closer to the Dialysis center about and hour away. I would need to go three times a week. That also gave me shivers. The thought of having Dialysis for the rest of my life, and it was a very difficult procedure for me to do. I have so much empathy for those who do have to have it the rest of their lives. I really felt that God had moved me to where I lived, a wonderful place that I loved so much and felt so much peace in. A church family that I also loved so much and who were praying for me. There were 4 churches praying for me all over Idaho. And other friends who had their churches praying for me in other states. I really didn't want to move from my home and my church. But again, I had no control over things in my life and I had to trust God. I knew that if I needed to move it was because there was something better for me, or spiritual work that He had for me. So I geared my mind for the Dialysis three times a week and possibility of moving to the town in Oregon near the Dialysis Center. Whatever God had in His will for me I would do. I knew that soon I would look back and see all the wonderful things that God had done in this adventure I was on and praise Him. The Bible says "Praise God in all things." The keyword there is in ALL things. Not just when we are happy at the beauty we see around us, or the new car we just bought or the vacation we just enjoyed. But in the bad times too because we never really have a bad time (only if we make it so)God will make all things much better after. I am reminded of Job. Not that, thank fully I walked through the road that Job did. But he had everything taken away from him. He was a rich man and his children and wife and all his worldly treasures were taken from him. Even his friends fell from him and rather than supporting Job in his grief. They were saying how he must have angered God for all this to happen to him. But in the end God returned everything to Job that he had before - PLUS! Job after all he went through did not once curse God or hate Him for what was happening to him. I realized one day, that I was praising God, it was not a BIG "praise God" - I didn't have enough strength to do that. But a Praise God, and I knew He heard me. I wasn't even sure why I was doing that, but I did. I noticed that each time I praised God, I felt physically better. Almost euphoric. So I kept praising Him. I had already found some of God's treasures on the path God was leading me on. I looked forward to finding more.
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