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  Home >> Blogs >> My Nightmare had Begun, but God was at the Helm.

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12:44 PM   [11 Sep 2014 | Thursday]

My Nightmare had Begun, but God was at the Helm.

The ambulance took me to the local Hospital. I had call my friend Violet, she got to my house just as the ambulance was leaving, so she followed it. Once we got to the Hospital Violet called my sister who was at work. When my sister answered the phone she told Violet, that she was at work and can't take calls there. Violet quickly told her that I was , taken by ambulance to the Hospital. My sister hung up. Violet counted to three and her phone rang again. My sister on the other end, saying "What?!" My sister told Violet that she would be there right away. Once she got to the Hospital, they told her that nothing seemed wrong and sent me home. I don't remember any of that. Being at the Hospital, My sister or Violet being there or taking me home. But I was talking and holding a conversation with the people at the Hospital and my sister and friend. Later they told me that sometimes I would slur my speech, and that I often walked like I was drunk. I would start a sentence and then tail off like I forgot the subject. They took me home. I don't remember the next three days at all. I was home, taking care of my animals and I guess living as normal. I don't really know because I don't remember it. My sister and violet would check on me and I seemed fine. But then me and Violet went to the next town to shop and my driving was erratic. I remember driving and it didn't seem erratic, but Violet said that she was petrified and asked if she could drive. I felt tired so I told her yes, I feel like I am going to fall asleep. I guess I did, I don't remember anything after that either. I don't remember my sister and my pastors wife taking me to the hospital again, and my doctor's office and then finally a Critical Care Hospital. The emergency would not let me in as I didn't seem to them like an emergency. My Doctor told my sister that I had been in to his office about a week and a half ago with a raging bladder infection and he had given me an antibiotic for it. I must have still been talking and acting relatively normal and walking etc. Because people would look at me, Hospitals,Doctors and emergency rooms and send me away. I remember once in the car my sister asking if I need to urinate, I said no, My sister and Pasto's wife asked again, I said no!. Finally I yelled at them "I am not a child, I know when I need to use the toilet!" they told me that they had gone 6 times while on our ride and I had not gone at all. That is all I remember - I thought I had screamed at them and later they told me no.I was finally admitted at an Urgent Care facility about 70 miles away. I don't remember getting there, being admitted or anything. I do remember my sister asking me to sign some tings, she would point to where But I could hardly write my name, didn't know what I was signing, but trusted my sister. I was in that Hospital for two weeks, diagnosed with a accidental drug and alcohol overdose. I was hallucinating badly from the Extreme PTSD I have, it was rearing it's ugly head and experiencing past ordeals as if they were happening now. I was screaming "Please God Let me die!" As I experienced one of them. I could hear myself in my hallucination. The nursed told my sister that I was going through the DT's. That is what they thought, so I can't blame them for anything and they took good care of me. That type of Hospital deals mostly with suicides, and Drug over doses or drug and alcohol over doses. So they thought that was what they were dealing with because of my actions. Even though the tests showed I had no Alcohol in my system. I guess that did flag them to call other specialists in to check me out. Thank you God, or I'd be dead today for sure! My sister was reliving the way our mother died and was having her own horrors of her past when she heard the accidental Drug and alcohol over dose diagnosis, and went with it. More family history and the way it affected all of us and still occasionally rears it's ugly head. Again I don't remember much in that Hospital. I know I at times was paranoid, hallucinating and feeling so afraid because I didn't know that anyone was calling about me or visiting me. Yet my sister and my good friend Frank stayed the night with me 3 nights each in my room. I called them once, telling them that I thought aliens were taking me. The hospital room was really scaring me. I didn't want them to hear me talk, but please come and get me! I didn't know all the tests that they were doing on me or that I was getting dialysis everyday. God was with me He was still working and still healing.
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