I'm really upset and really wish I was never born. I real feel like there is no point! I am so miserable.. There isn't any point in family, I use to think was.. But some things have me thinking no. My grandma tells me god does not love those In hell , neither the devil & idk why it gets to me may be because god is suppose to be unconditional loving that is what holds me to follow after the lord. : his love! If he doesn't love them it hurts me. I am always putting myself in others shoes. I see my self thro others even if I am not like them. I have a filling thro anything I do I am going to hell. During armageton days grandma says mothers will be against daughter. Family against every one! & I think now what is family.. Family only on earth for a short period when faced to fight them to put them In hell?forever to torcher.i have no hope and I cannot leave this cruel world without facing another cruelty after. Everywhere its dawned! & I am dead inside. Ik what I am saying is not like me that you have seen its Js I have never been so lost! Hurt..in my entire life. God was once my only hope, but I've lost hope in that because of things I hear.
Life can be difficult, we all have ups and downs, focus on the Lord, no love is greater than that of a man who is willing to give his life for you.
Try to keep your mind active in a positive way, which can be easier said thann done but once you find an activity that you enjoy then you will find that your thoughts will become more constuctive.
It is well know that people with mental heath issues can find relief in producing art, it is therapy, to find an activity that interest you is half the battle.
Winson Churchill suffered from bouts of depression but he was able to get over it by building brick walls and became a 1st class brick layer, the activity helped him to think more clearly when he was worried about developments in the Second Word War.
You seem to have am interest in art, you might consider becoming a member of Fine Art America at the link below.
If you become a member then please feel free to join two of my groups there.
The African Theme Artwork group and the Christian Theme Artwork group at the links below.
Of course someone read your post, but sometimes we do not know exactly what to say too, or have to run just then, and some are praying even when they cant reply. Just hold on, be careful who you talk things w/ since you're upset and miserable you said, and not everyone is ready to help when you need some. Even when you read or listen to others, prayerfully go back to your Bible, and in His time, God will answer you.
Btw, if you go to a church, there are other young ppl who may be asking what you are asking too. You can discuss w/ a BS leader, and find time to listen to praise music you can learn to sing to, focusing on Him alone.