It is not a question of whether someone deserves to be in the family of God; it is a question of love (AGAPE). This type of love does not attach performance to acceptance. It embraces the individual apart from behavior, and blesses him or her for the joy of it. Because love takes joy in the recipient’s sake alone, he or she is free to love in return. There are no strings attached to such love. Our Father was not looking for a bunch of rule keepers when He sent Jesus into the world. He was looking for a relationship with humanity. He wanted His family back! While there are rules in His family, they are not burdensome to those who love Him because they are based on love (see 1John 5:3).
Unfortunately, a number of families have not modeled this pattern. Those who grew up in families that trade performance for love and affection have a difficult time with acceptance. They are so starved for attention and affirmation that they find it nearly impossible to receive love at face value. The idea that God loves them is foreign. The enemy of our souls plotted the destruction of families with this goal in mind: total separation between God and His children. He knows the sooner he can influence people’s belief systems, the easier it is to keep them from reconciling with the Father. One of his devises is destroying the belief that God loves us. For centuries, he attacked children, so when they grow up they will not be able to receive His love. The devil constantly whispers, “You don’t deserve God’s love. How can you be in His family?” Remember this: Love has nothing to do with your performance or your behavior!
Those who grew up in this dysfunction can break the cycle of performance for love. It begins with receiving God’s love. You cannot give what you do not have. The closest you can get to earn His love is doing it His way. That means you have to accept the fact you cannot earn His love. Humble yourself and receive it, then walk in it. As the Father’s love fills your heart, you will be able to extend it to others. There is so much freedom in love that it breaks the chains of bondage. The more you freely love others, the freer you will be. It begins with receiving it by His grace through faith. What motivated the Father to send His Son? Surely, it was your works and good behavior -not by a long shot! Romans 5:8 But God commendeth (clearly proves) His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (KJV).
Love covers a multitude of sins (see 1Peter 4:8). It is high time for people to stop holding other’s sins against them. That is judgment, as well as unforgiveness and bitterness at work. Put away affection for hire. Parents, if you want your children to experience the Father’s love, then love them with no strings attached. Cultivate the environment of your house to emulate heaven and you will have a loving, godly home. Pronounce blessing in your household and let His blessings flow. The more judgmental you are, the more judgment you will experience. The more critical you are, the more criticism will fill your house. While discipline is necessary for everyone’s sake, apart from love it will have little or no benefit. That means correction must be bathed in love in order to have the right results. Which also means, you will correct your children with their wellbeing in mind; not to vent your anger and frustration. In fact, this principle applies to everyone, not just children. When we interact with one another, regardless of the relationship, we must speak the truth in love to each other. One of the rules of the family is that we love one another (see the Bible).