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Who Gives Kudos:



The Church that would not forgive

 Why did they kick her out? This is not exactly clear but this is what I know. She was/is undergoing chemotherapy. Her second try to cure her lymphoma. This chemo had turned out to be painful and due to getting confused on pain meds; she needed someone to stay with on the nights following the treatments. The minister and his wife offered and she began staying with them. This young woman saw this act of kindness as an act of love. She has been longing for and praying for a family for many years. She thought she had found a family to love her. In return, she decided to have them named as a beneficiary in her will and on her life insurance. They were aware of this. Shortly there after this minister was “called” to another church; announcing it during a services which she was attending. Needless to say, she became very up set. Over the falling few days to weeks; she became more and more distressed and began sending text and emails talking about wanting to stop chemo and perhaps even die. Shortly there after, they sent her an email telling her she was no longer welcome at their house and would have to find somewhere else to say after chemo (reason unknown). Hearing this she became even more upset and shared with someone in her life her feelings. During that conversation, this friend learned that she has signed over a considerable amount of money (life insurance and willing them land). Out of concern, she reported this to a governing body in the form of a complaint. She called and spoke with someone “in charge” who agreed to look into it and call her back.

They never called her back. Instead, a lawyer resenting the congregation and the minister called this friend back threatening to sue her for slander. Over the next few days/week this young woman wrote a letter explaining to all concerned that this minister did nothing wrong and asked for the complaint to be dismissed. Apparently, the complaint was dismissed with out anyone ever talking to this young woman. However, they did inform her she was not to go back to the church or contact them at risk of having the policed called on her.

It makes no scenes. Her friend, not her, called to voice a concern and it resulted in this young woman losing not only those she considered to be her family but her entire church family as well. During one conversation with the lawyer, the friend was told that the minister, his wife and “some people from the church” had all met to discuss the situation. Not only that, but other minsters from other local congregations had also been told what was going on. This young woman had believed that her what she was telling her minister was confidential. However, it was never told to her that he would tell all if she pissed him off.

The result of all of this is that this young women is blaming herself. The minister and the church members have foster the teaching of a very sick and damaging childhood; not the teaching of a loving forgiving God. Why? I don't know but I guess it was to cover their own.......At the expense of this young woman's life. She has stopped chemotherapy and has expressed that she considers herself to be “so bad a church has kicked me out, I must be bad and God must hate me too”. While I don't guess malpractice applies to ministers or churches; I think it is certainly should in this case. I am hoping that someone can get her to see that rejection by one minister and even one congregation is NOT the something as rejection by God. But the sad and frustrating thing is that minster who rejected her is the one she needs to hear it from. And right now, she has been told he will call the police on her if she even sends an email, begging for his forgiveness. Despite her having sent numerous pleas to him to forgive her and allow her back into the church; he will not respond. His apathy, in my opinion is killing her. This minister and congregation had, just a week or two before, stood together before, her, each other and God and made the promises of Baptism. Despite her ingrained fears, she wanted to become seal and a member of the church family. The church had agreed, made their promises to nurture her spiritual growth and then kicked her out due to “tensions”. No, counseling, no warning, no guidance, no correction, no forgiveness despite her many pleas. Just an email telling her to not go back.

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