Hello fellow Christians. God has called me today to write a few comforting words to his children who are struggling in their lives and who truly want to live by his word. I am still in the middle of this struggle, and for a while have felt that maybe I should just give up..that I am unworthy of the kingdom, and that maybe I was wrong and was never meant for it. But today, by way of his eternal grace and mercy, he came to my thoughts and offered me a bit of peace that I have been praying so very long and hard for.
I have been struggling with many addictions for a very long time now. The thing about my addictions is that no one can actually say that I have a problem. I don’t do a lot of anything, but I have to do something every day, whether it be having a couple of drinks, or taking a xanax every now and then..but always something. For this reason, it had to be me alone who decided that something was wrong and I had to change. You see to rely on anything besides him, is not fully trusting in him to help you through. When I first decided I had to quit all of these things I thought it should be easy, because I don’t do enough of anything to be addicted. Boy was I wrong! Not only can I not stop, but it has gotten worse, because of the pressure I have put on myself to stop. I have gone into a very bad depression and even felt like he had abandoned me, for how worthy can I be, if I can’t even give these things up and live by his word?
I have been reading a lot on the net, trying to find Christians in similar situations. What I have found is that either they are way too lenient, saying that you can still have your worldly desires and be completely saved, or they are saying stop everything now or face eternal damnation!!! Now, I agree that to be completely saved and filled with the holy spirit, you cannot have any worldly desires..that is true. But to put it that way is scaring Christians away from even trying because they feel that to do that is impossible..and without him it is! I am writing to anyone who will listen. That’s right, I am a Christian, in the middle of my struggle, and am trying to bring hope to the many that are in the middle of theirs. There is certain stereotyping going on that I do not approve of at all. Some people are acting like God can only communicate with you if you are perfect in every way. I have news for anyone who is saying people who are struggling with addictions are going to hell. Being judgemental is just as big of a sin as any other. You are looking down on others like you are better than they are, and that is not a Christian thing to do at all.
His comforting words to me went something like this. I do not claim to be psychic or write anything word for word, or that God is saying “say this to my people”. No, I am merely sharing my experience.
My child. I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Your struggle is great and you are wondering how much longer you can go on. You keep trying and failing and the more you fail the deeper you fall. You feel that I have left you, but I have been here all along, and I will be here for your victory. But how long your struggle will last is up to you. You keep focusing on how to overcome and what YOU need to do to stop yourself. Truly I say to you, this is your problem. You are trying to be perfect without me and rely only on yourself. You will not succeed until you truly believe and trust me. You feel that you believe now, but you do not. You know I am here, and you believe that my son died for you and rose again. But you continue to worry about what will happen when you make these changes and where you will end up. I know this is a very difficult time for you, and I want you to know that in the end, you are and always will be my child, and you will succeed because it is your destiny. Your faith will be stronger, and it will help you fight the more difficult battles that are yet to come. It pains me greatly to see how many people choose to turn away from me, but for those that do, I do not intervene. I only communicate with my chosen ones, who truly choose me in their hearts. I would not be pushing you this hard if you were only going to end up tortured for all eternity. You should also be aware, that the closer you come to me, the harder Satan will fight to subdue you. It is he, telling you I have abandoned you, and trying with all of his might to have you live in fear. Fight him with my Word and your faith. This is unfortunately the only comfort I can give you now. It is up to you how long this struggle will last. I cannot make you believe, only you can do that. Remember my eternal love for you, and take comfort in knowing that this too shall pass.
Now as I said, this was only a couple of hours ago. I am still very much fighting my way through the darkness to the light. But I do now have a sense of peace, and even appreciate what I am going through. If this makes me a stronger Christian, and helps me to have an unwavering faith as Christ did, then I just ask him to help me through, and trust that I will make it to him.
These verses were a help to me when I was going through very tough times. 1Peter 4 v 12 , Isaiah 43 v2-5 , Psalm 84v5-7. You have the Authority to use Jesus name in the Battle. Evil will try and bluff you, but they know they must obey His name. Get some teaching or books about Jesus name to increase your faith. Praying with you. That is a great word you gave there to encourage others and it shows you already have a lot of wisdom..God bless you.