When I was a little girl. My mother didn't take me to church. I had a neighbor that introduced the Lord to me, and I found him quite fascinating. I was living in a world of hell on earth. The only thing that kept me happy was God. I lived a life of all sorts of abuse, and watched abuse to happen to my other siblings. I was not only abused by my parents also siblings. I can only believe that as little child that God was alive in me to help me survive the horrendous abuse that I endured. I had this tremendous urge to always be where God was...no matter what religion. To me religion was not a barrier for me. I went to catholic, church of Christ, Baptist, etc. I tried all the religions until I found where I belonged. I found God everywhere I went. I found him in people that I never knew. I would attach myself with these people. Trying to find happiness like they knew. I could not find happiness in people. God had taught me that the only true happiness that I could find was with my Abba Father.
My Abba Father was the only true father that I have known. I had a mother, and a father. They only brought the worse to my life. So I could only depend on the one True Father that I had. God.......God taught me that he was alive in me, and my body was the temple of the Lord. That when the world had let me down. I could always turn to him, and he would always be there for me.
At age 3 is when the abuse started, and the people that were to protect me were too busy doing drugs and drinking alcohol to see the abuse happening. Even at the age of 7 when I told them they did nothing. They could not believe that it was happening. Until I was 9 years of age the rape stopped, but the beatings started. Still the very people that were suppose to protect me did nothing much. The only thing that kept me from dying inside was my God. He showed me that through him that I can forgive those that transgress against me can be forgiven, and I can love them through Christ.
The devil thought he could destroy this little child, and God lifted me up into his arms every time he tried to crush me. I never was allowed to feel the pain for long, because God would always show his face to me during the painful moments, and take it away. My mother never once comforted me when I was raped, because she couldn't believe it was happening. My father was never around. So the only comforter I could find was my Abba Father. He took the painful moments, and washed them away from my mind, and replaced them with his glorious light. I felt his light within me. I felt him hold me tight when I was by myself in the dark places the devil put me in. He never gave me a moment that I was alone. GOD IS ALIVE IN ME! To this day.
You have been through the fire. You have experienced Isaiah 43v2. Many people can be encouraged from your experience and testimony. I was blessed to read all the Lord has done for you. May He use you to reach many people. Praise God.