Men need a correct understanding of this well known statement by Jesus, ' but I say unto you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart '.
I was at a youth prayer meeting years ago, and somebody asked a Minister who was present about the meaning of this verse. My ears pricked up because I was struggling with this issue myself. He replied,' some friends of mine and I discussed this and we came to agreement that the first look is OK and the second look is lust '. Is that really the answer? Is that the best that God can give us ?
I think it is important for men to think this issue through properly. We need to face the fact that we are wired to look and that the ladies are made in such a way as to cause us to look ! How will I know who I am attracted to, who is a potential marriage partner, if I don't look !! God put sexual attraction in us. Its not going to go away! Assuming that it was not Gods intention to give us the urge so that He could delight in catching us in adultery and that we could be tormented all of our lives, then there has to be a better solution.
The key to Jesus meaning are in the phrases, ' to lust after her ' (Amplified says, with evil desire for her) and ' in his heart '.
To paraphrase we could say,' he looks at her and would sleep with her if he could because of the evil condition of his heart '. Christ is really talking to his listeners about the condition of their hearts. He confirmed it in Mark 7 v 21 ' for from within, out of the heart of men, proceed .......adulteries...' So looking is not the problem. The condition of the heart is what is important. But I still don't have a satisfactory solution for my experience!
The disciples received something on the day of pentecost (Acts 2)that is often overlooked. Peter spoke about it (Acts 15) ' and God gave them (the Gentiles) the Holy Spirit as He did with us.......cleansing(purifying) their hearts by faith '. One of the miracles of the New Testament is the pure heart attained for us by Jesus. Does this make a difference in our looking ?.
Titus gives us His opinion (chptr 1 v 15) ' to the pure in heart and conscience all things are pure '.
You seeing it in a proper way we look at many things , but if we see them in lustful ways that creates a problem for us . God looks on us men and women doe's that mean he has lust too in the way man do, I say not . If what's in your heart is to undress her in your mind and to have her for sexual purposes yea that is lust . Men and women are capable to be perfectly minded in Christ without lust in followship . But be careful satan is in operation seeking whom he may corrupt . It's not about how many times you look ,but what's in your heart when you look.