Christian is in quotations because while I like to believe I am a Christian, I am not 100% sure I behave like one. As a matter of fact I know I don't! I don't speak like someone who is Christ-like, I don't think Christian most of the day, and if someone was to follow me around for a week the only Christian like behavior they would see (as of yesterday) would be that I go to church on the occasional Sunday.
Why am I terrified? First, let me say this: I am NOT terrified of God, I am terrified of God's works! I have been told many times that a life with the Lord will change you entirely. This scares me!! I often wonder how I'll change...will my husband leave me? Will my friends(Christian and non) abandon me? Will my children reject me now that I've changed? I have spent the past nearly 30 years believing in God and Jesus Christ but never submitting to his will. After so much loss and heartache, I am finally ready (still scared) to accept his love, joy, and promises of change.
I start today (Jan. 14th, 2014) as a mother of 3 amazing children, a wife to a loving husband, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a believer...a smoker of cigarettes, a drinker of alcohol (with the occasional bar scene to get drunk), a gossiper, and many more short comings.
This is my story and record of God's promises. I am scared and excited to see where my life will go in the next year and beyond!