I recently found myself wanting a change in my life. I wanted something more. Right now, I think I know what I want but when I talked about it with my husband, he didn't seem so sure. He was very aprehensive about my revelation and he wasn't quite on board with the idea. You see, I have an ache in my heart to eventually have children. The problem: I have been diagnosed with PCOS. Basically, I am infirtile and cannot have children unless I take heavy doses of hormones or a miracle happens. I am praying for the latter because I'm not excited about the hormone treatments.
My husband, on the other hand, is very happy with our life right now and doesn't feel the need for change. We have a set routine. We go to work, come home, eat dinner, play online for a few hours, watch TV together, cuddle in bed, and finally go to sleep. He likes our routine, and so do I. I just want to change it up a little by adding another person in the mix. He's not excited.
What makes it worse is our financial and housing situation. We do own our own home but it is really small. It's less than 900 sq ft and it is only a one bedroom. My husband bought it when he was a bacholar and didn't think about a future family. Now, we have this lovely little house and and a confortable life, but I want more.
I am not sure if I am supposed to want more or if I just need to be content with our life. Either way, I am constantly praying for guidence and for God's will to be done. In the mean time, I am looking for ways to fill what I feel is void in my life. I know that God will satisfy that longing one way or another.