In my heart I have a compulsion to share with others these letters to You. It comes from the conviction that the really valuable insights come from You, not me, and from the conviction that I may somehow be a channel for truths that are meant to be public. Operating under the assumption that this might possibly be so, I am compelled to choose the opposite of putting a basket over such light.
In book form the letters have made the rounds of small, specialized publishers all of whom showed no interest. It therefore occurred to me that they could be offered electronically on the internet. Accomplishing this showed me that there was some interest and, therefore, hopefully some need. My postings are all anonymous under an assumed identifier. I tell myself I do this to minimize my “self” and any vanity I might harbor about the good I (rather than You) might be able to do through them.
I do not delude myself about the dangers of such vanity. The comfort of its warm glow entices my ego. This temptation coexists with the certain knowledge that it showcases my role in the correspondence rather than Yours. For this reason I have never told anyone (including family) about these letters. What would be the point? To draw attention to myself? The only person to whom I ever mentioned it was a friend to whom it should not have come as any surprise since I write similar letters to him. However, that has all changed somewhat with the internet.
If there is the possibility that You have chosen me as a channel of Your grace, then I too must find a means of channeling that gift; and, I think, I’ve found it! This pleases me! I hope it pleases You. Some readers have made comments on the letters – most favorable – and this is encouraging, but also a potent source of vanity. Obviously my “self’ keeps trying to shoulder its way into the whole matter by, among other things, looking for a pat on the back.
The idea that our lives must constantly bear witness to Your life and Your love should always be before us, and sometimes we must even use words.