Letters to Jesus (Seeking Spiritual Connection) - 6
Is it possible to be a victim of one’s own spiritual imagination? Is what we conjure in our minds solely constructed of thin air? Does it have any value?
The father of the mute boy in the gospels says, “Lord, I do believe. Help my unbelief.” And that’s the way it is with doubts about our own spirituality. We need help even though we feel pretty sure about it. We are, indeed, a victim of our spiritual imagination when we allow it to fashion doubts about our relationship with You. It is fundamental in the spiritual life to keep before us the notion that, for Your part, there is always a loving connection between You and me. Whatever my doubts, weaknesses, failures, or mistakes I must always fall back on Your relationship with me – which never changes!
The foundation of my spirituality is not my relationship with You, but Your relationship with me. So, what is my part in my spirituality? The answer is that You leave that up to me. You allow me, if I so choose, to be a victim of my imagination and to have doubts. It does not affect Your relationship with me.
The best part of my spirituality is learning to rest in the love You have for me and accept my own weaknesses while working to rid myself of them. You, not me, are the source of whatever it is I consider my spirituality. I may concoct it and manipulate it in all different ways but the only time I am a victim of it is when I buy into the delusion that it comes from me. You meet us uniquely where each of us is at. We erroneously pat ourselves on the back when we consider that we have“arranged” these meetings. If I choose to go on pursuing and tweaking what I regard as the spiritual routines of my life, You will accept them, love me, and work through them with me. I may be a victim sometimes of my own spiritual imagination but I cannot, nor do I wish to, make You one.