Getting back on track has been difficult so far. Seams the more I try to do the right thing and find a church for me the more things fall apart. I met this guy who was doing his comunity service seamed pretty cool. I had a christian music station on the radio on one day and everytime he would walk by he was singing right along with the song playing. It really impressed me. He even invited me to his church and gave me his number so he could pick me up if I needed a ride was cool of him. Now that I've got my truck running again, I'll be going to see what his is like. With the things going on around my house is really bad for me, but I'm still trying to hold my head upa dn not let all that effect me and bring me down. I want to follow God and be better. I want to go to church and praise the Lord and find others I can hang out with who will build me up and me for them. I love being positive and influencing others to better themselves. Just seams so hard at times. I know what I should be doing. So lets see what happens...
First, awesome that you ARE getting "back on track". It is no surprise that things are difficult. I went through the same thing the harder I tried to "do the right thing" the harder it gets. It's two-fold, a) the devil doesn't want you to have a relationship with God, so he's throwing everything at you he can.
b) this is so important, what helped me was a change in the way I think. I no longer try to "do the right thing". My focus is now on Jesus and the Bible. The more we try "not to sin" the more we sin. This is what Paul in Romans chapter 7-8 is trying to show us. Here's my suggestion start by thinking about God's Love for you. Make it personal. Get in the Bible and stay in it. If you don't understand it, ask Him for understanding, then don't worry about it. Understanding will happen. He changes us, we don't change ourself. Find specific subjects to search out in the Bible. For instance, do a topic search on Love. Then read it and think about what you've read. Ponder on it all day long (yes it is possible!). You'll find as I did, the more we focus on the positive Word of God the more it changes us. Also, the less we are tempted. Perfect Love casts out all fear! It is true! When negative thoughts come up, simply replace them with scripture. I have found when I start getting tempted instead of thinking the negative thoughts, I start by praising God, then before I'm even aware of it those thoughts are gone. You are on the right track. When I read scripture from the aspect of God's Love for me, it becomes clearer. Having an understanding of His Love for us is a major first step. The simplicity that is in Christ. Focus positively on Him and that He's done it all for us and then He is magnified and our problems are shrunk down in size. They're still there, but no longer this big mountain to climb.
I praise and thank the Lord for you, He is glorified through you! Awesome!