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Country: United States

Signup Date: 04/12/2013

  Religion & Philosophy

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Who Gives Kudos:


   [17 May 2013 | Friday]

People are always saying how hard it is to understand the Bible and they say that the reason is, it has been translated from Hebrew and Greek and certain words have more than one meaning so how are we to know what the meaning really is. Of course this excuse will not stand as a viable excuse when we stand before God even if there is some validity in there argument for we are required to study to show ourselves approved.

You think English is  easy??
I think a retired English teacher was bored…THIS IS  GREAT!

Read all the way to the end……………..
This took a lot of work to put together!

1) The bandage was wound around  the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce  produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.                                                4) We must polish the Polish furniture.                                                                            5) He could lead if  he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..
7) Since there is no time like the present,  he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was  painted on the head of the bass drum.                                            9 When shot at, the dove  dove into the bushes.                                                            10) I did not object to  the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for  the invalid.
12) There was a row among  the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to  the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny  things when the does are  present.                                       15)  A seamstress and a sewer fell  down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was  too strong to wind the  sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in  the painting I shed a tear..
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this  to my most intimate friend?

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.                                                      English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France .           Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.                 We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?                                       Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?                               Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.                                                                                                                 In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?                              Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?                                                                      How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise
guy are opposites?                                                                                                        You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which,of course, is not a race at all.                                                         That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. – Why doesn’t ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’ ?                                                               You lovers of the English language might enjoy this

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter
word, and that is ‘UP.’
It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky  or at the top of the list, but
when we awaken in  the morning, why do we wake UP?                                                 At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP?                                                                                                 Why are the  officers UP for election and why is  it UP to the secretary to  write UP a
We call UP our friends.
And we use it to brighten UP a room,                                                                         Polish UP the silver;
We warm UP the leftovers                                                                                          Clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house.                                                                                               Some guys  fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble,                                                                                                   Line UP for tickets,                                                                                                       Work UP an appetite,                                                                                                  Think UP excuses.                                                                                                           To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
A drain must be  opened UP because it is  stopped UP.                                                We open UP a store in the morning  but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable  about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page  and can add UP to about thirty  definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try  building UP a list of the many  ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but  if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP
with a hundred or  more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.                                                   When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets  the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn’t rain for  awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so it is time to shut UP!
Now it’s UP to you what you do with  this.

SO don’t give Up, keep your head UP and Keep looking UP for your redemption draweth nigh.

Mood: content
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