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12:18 PM   [10 Apr 2013 | Wednesday]

Entry #12 of 12 Christian Teacher in First Nations Schools ~ Journey Toward Forgiveness

Saving Face ~  I wondered how I'd end my blog till today when I received a note from a friend of mine who is writing a book about her conversion to Christ.  On her Facebook page, "Not Born Gay", she also explains her decision to walk away from the Gay lifestyle.  Immediate, crushing persecution followed her ... shall I say "coming in"?   So much so that it is almost too heavy a burden for her to bear if it were not for the prayer support of an army of godly prayer warriors.

What is persecution?  Can I ever say that I've been persecuted for righteousness sake?

I've pondered that question over the years.  For some reason, I point the finger (I'll admit a little overboard at times) at myself, before I'll ever blame any of the stuff that I've suffered or my troubles in First Nations communities as being "persecution".   

I tremble to think of flattering myself with that.  I don't think I've EVER been persecuted.  Not really.  I think I brought alot of it on myself.  

Yes, yes, I do!  I'd walk down those school halls looking down at my feet, hoping I wouldn't have to talk to anyone.  If I looked up, (after all) they might not smile, or they may just ignore me, so I'll look really busy, so I don't have to be REJECTED.  

The famous missionary to India, Amy Carmichael, wrote this in her collection of prose entitled: "IF"

"If I am perturbed by the reproach and misunderstanding that may follow action taken for the good of souls for whom I must give account.  If I cannot commit the matter to my loving Saviour and go on in peace and in silence, remembering Gethsemane and the cross, then I know nothing of Calvary's love'.

We do that don't we?  Either we wear "persecution" as a badge to prove our spirituality, bragging how we've "FORGIVEN THEM", (constantly rehashing the stories) or we post our retorts on Facebook or organize a protest, complete with placard signs and banners to stand up for our Christian rights.

When I started out on this blog, my "describe Your Post in 3 Words" was:  Help Wanna Run

Now it's "No Longer Running"

I just want to love as He did.  I don't want to protect myself anymore.  Who cares about my reputation (oooooooooo BOLD statement....you're the brave one!) ha ha ha!

No, really.  I know it'll hurt the next time some political backstairs intrigue succeeds in ushering my husband and I out of our jobs.  There are people on this reserve for political and for Traditional Nationalistic reasons who would probably be glad if we were gone.

I just don't want to waste anymore time stewing about it.  

All I can see are the children.  The next generation who will perhaps be pointed to Christ because of my testimony among them.

This is the longest I've been working in a First Nations community.  Most people seem to like us here.  I've finally decided that this is my call.  I'll bloom where I'm planted.  I don't want to run anymore.  I'll accept the continual destruction of my property from time to time, the defaming of my reputation with gossip and fabrications if and when they come, even...well...I'm not even worthy to say it, but...you know what.

I miss my grandkids and my children excrutiatingly!  But I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.  And faithful is He Who calls me Who also will do it.

Maybe I should remember these things in the day when and if I'm truly persecuted...well, maybe that's the day when I won't think about it all that much one way or another.   Maybe in that day, I'll care more for the Lost than for my "worried self" as Amy Carmichael says.

okay.  Roger OUT!  thanx for listening everyone!!!!!!!

Mood: contemplative
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