Entry #8 Christian Teacher in First Nations Schools ~ Journey Toward Forgiveness
Saving Face ~ I signed on again. If they'll still have me, I sent in my letter of intent, saying I'll come back. What happened? A few weeks ago I was all set to call it quits. One who is close to me, flipped out when I told her. She accused my husband of forcing me to stay here against my will.
I know it doesn't make sense. I lost count of the homes set on fire, the beatings, the vandalism, and the break-ins over the last 12 years. Still, His love constrains me. That's what it is. I realize that now. It's not going to get any "least of these my brethren" more than this. I've got to bloom where I'm planted. I even have a skip in my step these days. Imagine that!
It's the children you see. If I'm not here, I'd forget to pray. I"d pray about something else. These need my prayers. My prayers matter. I really know this is my harvest field even if all I may be doing is breaking up fallow ground, let alone planting seeds. I can't see if I am or not. This, I realize has fed my discouragement all these years.