Love has the unusual potentiality and frequent outcome of making us victims. The reason, of course, is that if we truly give without expectation, and if we work sincerely on eliminating any conditions of our love – we then become very vulnerable to be taken advantage of. Maybe being taken advantage of is a mark of genuine love – at least in the sense that we allow ourselves to be taken advantage of. To do this a whole lot of self has to be negated and replaced with sincere concern for others.
It’s ridiculously hard to accept with enthusiasm the idea of being a victim. I have tried to do it for just one day: from morning to night cheerfully accepting and doing the will of others in even the smallest detail – for just one day. It’s not only hard to do this but it’s extra hard to be cheerful when you “trash” your self in this way.
In perfecting our ability to love, however, we must concentrate more heavily on our receptivity than on our initiative. More frequently than not we equate our love with “doing something.” When we take the initiative it helps keep us from being victims. But when we decide that to love we must also take in and accept much of what makes us vulnerable to the will of others, the self then suffers a huge blow and we become victims – and we don’t like that. But the perfection of love must allow it and welcome it.