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True2Ourselves Forums   > True2ourselves.com Help > Site Suggestions  > A Time out forum?

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  #1  
Old 03-24-2009, 07:11 AM
DeeperStill
 
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Default A Time out forum?

I have been awake and unable to sleep. I am stirred up in my spirit and not at peace. I read the posts of this board and over all there are some really good posts and really nice people. But like any place I have ever been, there always seems to be a few thorns. Some thorns can be contained and dealt with , yet other thorns are vindictive in that they cut fast and cut deep. They take your life blood and drain it from you. plus, their actions are not usually focused on a particular individual but t others too,cutting anyone who passes by. This sort is a multiple offenders.

So I am going to ask you for a method to ,not only save the flock which gathers here, but to save yourselves future site issues and divisions.

I have pondered how it can be possible to deal with such hurtful thorns in a biblical fashion and the first thing that comes to my mind is Mathew 18.

We each need to go to the person who offends us, privately first and try to make things right with that person. Also we need to be diligent in reporting their posts which are offensive. If they refuse to hear, than we are told in Matthew to take two or three witnesses and go to them again........

now this is where my pondering as been.

Is it possible to set up a peer board where dealing with offensives can take place. This board.. or forum could be for the sole purpose of bringing correction to a person who has continually shown a disregard of others in their attitudes and words. It would only be used after every attempt has been made privately to deal with offenses. members could petition the leadership for a meeting of witnesses ( others who have likewise been offended and can confirm the necessity of proceeding to the next step of Matthew 18 . It can be set up as password protected forum so that only the involved can access it and carry on discussions in private ( to protect the main forum) . It might also be necessary to change the access designation of the person to keep them from talking on the main forum until the issue has been resolved.

And if it is not resolved, and personal changes made.. then the leadership of the site can take it to the public forum and announce a removal of a person who refuses to mend their ways.

I am asking this because it is clear to me that some correction needs to take place and some thorns clipped.

I am a person who will defend others when I see them being abused by a thorn. But engaging a thorn in a battle of words in a public forum, never brings a good result. Its only more bait for more abuse. Thorns need to be separated. They need a "time out box" where adjustments in attitude can be made.

I hope that others will read this and join me in asking for such a place because this will benefit the collective of people who come here and not just myself.

please post your comments here and your ideas on this.. because I am really asking for action before its to late.

T

Last edited by DeeperStill : 03-24-2009 at 07:15 AM.
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  #2  
Old 03-24-2009, 07:35 AM
walkinthespirit's Avatar
Prayer Warrior & Knight
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,386
Default Re: A Time out forum?

I totally agree. Too many good christians that love the LORD, will be hurt by such individuals, and some will be hurt to such a degree that it may not be reversible.

If these individuals are not dwelt with, they become a threat to the body of Christ.
What of the babie christians, the seekers, and those who are still discovering who they are in Christ JEsus?

Would we stand by while someone hurts our child, our neighbour, our friend, our spouse?

Like deeperstill, I have always been an advocate of the one that is being hurt, I would rather draw attention to my self, and have that person hurt me, then be allowed to hurt others.

When is enough, enough?
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  #3  
Old 03-24-2009, 08:17 AM
Mark's Avatar
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Posts: 3,713
Default Re: A Time out forum?

Hello DeeperStill,

We do have a forum like this that is accessible to the "guardians of the faith" (forum moderators). What helps us is referencing specific offending posts (by using the "report post" option). That being said, please only report serious violations.

Perhaps we're going to start being more strict with the 'difficult members'....
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  #4  
Old 03-24-2009, 08:44 AM
Keturah
 
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Default Re: A Time out forum?

I too feel this is right,proper, and Spiritual.

I see young Christians coming in seeking fellowship, and advice to grow, and are given URL's to down grade the importance of Gods word, and saying they have a better way?

As mature followers of our Lord, these need to be delt with, just as Paul did in his day.
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  #5  
Old 03-24-2009, 09:08 AM
MMari
 
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Default Re: A Time out forum?

Mark,
I do think that when a person is a difficult person that one also needs to be mature in their responses. I will not say all but there are those who will also go along in a defensive manner rather than leave a post alone and feed the mentality. It is like one upping the person to prove a point. I believe we have to use good judgement here. There is responsibility on both sides which needs to be looked at and respect. I have seen failures in many areas which crosses boundaries. So before one decides I think things need to be looked at from all angles. This again is a forum that is cross denominational and is not going to specifically agree with alls beliefs in every thread and if a particular person begins a thread with specific guidelines and asks that people not post if they have not read nor taken it seriously or if people begin to rant on their own particular left over of another thread totally off topic it can create frustration. I think there are a lot of things to be taken into consideration. This is not a church and cannot be handled in the format as suggested above as a church but left up to those whom you engaged to do so.
Why Ketura's particular incident got overlooked I don't know. I think it could have been on a thread that is on going and is quite a controversial topic. If she were my mother I would be watching out for her too as I can't see anything she would post that would ever deserve a nasty post.
I do find Mark that there are some very sincere people on this forum who begin threads and do so sincerely and without thought some post just to post and many times this can provoke a bit of frustration with some as not being taken seriously or people don't take the time to really read what is being said. I think as christians regardless of denomination we need to act as responsible adults with respect and not as children regardless of what the topic is; we need to be sensitive to the weaknesses of others and applaud the strengths of others and not be threatened by them. In all things we need to remember to reflect Christ. Blessings
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  #6  
Old 03-24-2009, 09:14 AM
Heneni
 
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Default Re: A Time out forum?

There is no reason to not link information that could be useful. A forum is at its best when it is educational as well as informative.

Lets just do what we do best. DEBATE.

If god is in it, you cant stop it, if god is not, you wont have to.

But for the interest of the members who want to debate and not scroll through hundreds of personal attack posts, i think anybody who wants to be a royal pain in the nostril, might have to take the back seat in the interest of public sanity.

Heneni
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  #7  
Old 03-24-2009, 11:04 AM
Mark's Avatar
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Posts: 3,713
Default Re: A Time out forum?

Quote:
Posted by MMari... I do think that when a person is a difficult person that one also needs to be mature in their responses. I will not say all but there are those who will also go along in a defensive manner rather than leave a post alone and feed the mentality. It is like one upping the person to prove a point. I believe we have to use good judgement here.
This is very well put... I could not agree more. Thank you.
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  #8  
Old 03-24-2009, 05:54 PM
RollingThunder
 
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Default Re: A Time out forum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeeperStill View Post
If they refuse to hear, than we are told in Matthew to take two or three witnesses and go to them again........

Is it possible to set up a peer board where dealing with offensives can take place. This board.. or forum could be for the sole purpose of bringing correction to a person who has continually shown a disregard of others in their attitudes and words.
Correct, Mathew said bring two are three witnesses and go to them, not bring them to a public place and be judged by the community.

There is a difference between positive re-enforcement and negative re-enforcement. Having a public forum of this nature is really no more than putting a person on trial in front of the body of this community. That’s negative re-enforcement that will not bring about a change in behavior. It would only create more conflict, and fear of discussion. I say this from experience running a forum of over 10,000 competitors that can only agree on one thing, racing is fun, and wheels go round and round. Aside from that, nothing else.

Blessings,
Shannon
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  #9  
Old 03-24-2009, 07:32 PM
DeeperStill
 
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Default Re: A Time out forum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RollingThunder View Post
Correct, Mathew said bring two are three witnesses and go to them, not bring them to a public place and be judged by the community.

There is a difference between positive re-enforcement and negative re-enforcement. Having a public forum of this nature is really no more than putting a person on trial in front of the body of this community. That’s negative re-enforcement that will not bring about a change in behavior. It would only create more conflict, and fear of discussion. I say this from experience running a forum of over 10,000 competitors that can only agree on one thing, racing is fun, and wheels go round and round. Aside from that, nothing else.

Blessings,
Shannon
I hope you read further down in my post where it specifically said a private forum away from the public area with just two or three people... moderators if need be.. to do a private correction and time out. Also, It is impossible to go to them on a forum such as this and still keep things private. It has to be a special place, set apart for the purpose. This is done by changing the persons designation from "member" to one that can only access the private forum. That would also keep them from continuing to cause trouble in the public area. Of course when correction is made.. if they are willing... then their member designation would be given back and full access to the forum returned.

nothing was ever said about taking it to public channel except in the event that a refusal to make changes happens and then it would only be a removal from the forum. ( extreme cases )

anyway.. this was only an idea because correction is part of growth and harmony and benefits the whole.

T

Last edited by DeeperStill : 03-24-2009 at 07:37 PM.
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  #10  
Old 03-25-2009, 06:16 PM
quietude
 
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Default Re: A Time out forum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark View Post
That being said, please only report serious violations.
What are some examples of serious violations?
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